Dulce Domum
by Lana Archer
Summary: Bonnie and Damon die – again. The two most 'incompatible' people are left with the promise of eternity looming over their heads. Preconceived notions aside they discover just how much they have in common and just how wrong they were about their ideas of love.
1. Chapter 1

**Dulce Domum**

**(Home Sweet Home)**

"_I don't know if it be a peculiarity in me, but I am seldom otherwise than happy while watching in the chamber of death, should no frenzied or despairing mourner share the duty with me. I see a repose that neither earth nor hell can break; and I feel the assurance of the endless and shadowless hereafter – the Eternity they have entered – where life is boundless in its duration, and love in its sympathy, and joy in its fullness."_

_Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte _

What strange perfection. Of course when I die, _again_, it will be with Damon Salvatore. He brought me back, and he fought to bring Stefan back and now we had to die. Idly I glanced between him and the glaring bright light that washed over us, his eyes burning like I'd never seen them before. He knew…and I knew. There was nothing we could do anymore.

He had been fighting fate since his transition and it seemed I had been doing the same since my birth, so in that sense we had something in common. Supernatural something's destined to die for the ones we love. Sure, he had dabbled in trying to kill me, a sentiment which I happily mirrored with attempts of my own. But death and blood and love aside, it was just us now and that terrified me. It was so final, so imminent that I could feel the weight of it settle in my chest. The wind howled around us, pulling, clawing its way to us – and we were moments from obliging.

"I'm sure there are at least a million other people we'd both rather be with" I said, my voice clear and strong. He looked down at me and I wanted him to smirk, or snap at me or insult me, something, _anything_…

"A thousand at most" he said, his eyes shining. I looked away for a second and drew in a deep breath. I took his hand in mine and our fingers wove together automatically. We just stood there, hand in hand…waiting for the inevitable. This could have been the perfect moment in another lifetime; holding hands with an admittedly beautiful man, staring up at the sky. But instead of stars, we got the lights that befit the bottom of a spaceship – which considering the fact that I was holding Damon's hand kind of made sense. He was the poster child of mayhem and over the years I had grown accustomed to it, hell, I happened to find it endearing now. But what did I know? Dying made me romanticize everything. "But I am glad it's you and not someone else." He added. I wanted to laugh, crack a smile, but when I tried a tear slipped through and I hated myself for it. I wouldn't cry anymore, I wouldn't scream or fight; I would resign myself to the truth. I was meant to die, I had screwed with the lines of life and death and this was the consequence – I would let nature restore the balance.

"Damon…" I breathed, my voice getting lost in the ever increasing wind that circled around us hungrily. He looked down at me and squeezed my hand. I closed my eyes momentarily as another tear slipped over the edge of my eyes. "Will it hurt?" He seemed to think about it.

"…I don't know" he answered finally and I watched as his skin bled seamlessly into the increasing bright light. His blue eyes dissolved and I grabbed at his forearm with my free hand. He was all I had now and lord help me but I wouldn't let go if I could help it. He pulled me towards him and clutched onto my back while I did my best to bury myself into his chest. My heart was begging to escape from my chest and a small part of me wanted to allow it, to give up, to let go. Who knew that right here, and right now, that this was the only thing holding me together – _him_ holding me together? The whistling of the wind increased, warping into a shrill call that signalled the moment. Here we go…death. I felt Damon's body tense as we were hurtled upward and sideways; this way and that. He never let go of me and I refused to let go of him. Soon the momentum of it all pressed us together harshly, giving us no choice but to cling onto one another for our lives. Neither of us made a sound.

Then it all slowed and we were suspended mid-air. I chanced to open my eyes and look up. They immediately collided with Damon's and I noticed how his hair hung in the air, like there was no gravity. My legs were lifted backwards, like I had jumped but my arms still held onto him fiercely. It fascinated me for the shortest second and then we fell. I would have screamed I'm sure, if I didn't fall to the ground and have whatever residual air smacked out of my lungs. My eyes rolled and my head smacked against the floor, I could taste blood.

"Bonnie? _Bonnie_? Can you hear me?" Damon's voice called to me, but I saw stars, the spiralling, unblinkable kind and groaned. I heard him exhale and lift himself to his feet. Soon I was picked up and cradled to his chest as he walked. He was _walking_, wherever we were, I'm not sure why this simple act surprised me. I opened my eyes and was immediately confused. It was still night time. We were still in a forest and I was still waiting to die. Had I died? Was that it? Did the Powers That Be simply put Damon and I on spin cycle and leave it at that? A slap on the wrist was definitely not what I expected, but I also knew not to get my hopes up.

"Where are we?" I murmured, coughing when I felt the lump in my throat, maybe I had been screaming?

"If I knew that we wouldn't be going for a stroll right now would we?" he said, scowling down at me.

"Of course you'd still be a dick." I quipped without much thought. He made a careless spluttering noise.

"Dying doesn't give you a personality make-over Bennett, because if that were the case you would have grown some lady balls and started to think of something."

"Sure, because leaving our fates to me worked so well in the past" I snapped, albeit self-deprecatingly.

"I don't have time for your insecurities; we need to figure out how to get back." _To Elena_. The words hung there, we both knew they were there and yet he didn't say them.

"Well, then to get to where we need to be we need to know where we are… you, uh, you can put me down now." I said, biting my bottom lip. Feeling had returned to my body pretty much the minute he had picked me up but I didn't protest. He eased me onto the floor and the minute the balls of my feet came in contact with the earth our surroundings changed. Snow dusted everything and the sun was glaring down. As quickly as the layers of snow formed they began to melt away, the water rushing off into the distance, like they were being pulled away. I followed the small rivulets of water, having no other lead to turn to. "Can you feel that?" I whispered for whatever reason. Save for the soft calls of birds the forest was eerily quiet.

"Nope" he said, popping the 'p' like he always did. Rolling my eyes I focused and that's when it sprang to the forefront of my mind – the humming, the slow percolation of magic around me. Chills ran over my frame, it had been so long since I had felt anything like it. My heart swam, drunk in the sensation. Damon grumbled behind me, oblivious to it all.

"Damon, I can feel _magic_" I said, slowing down and turning to him, the rivulets had grown and puddles were everywhere – we were close to the source.

"All I feel is unwelcome" he mused, looking around him. I frowned at that; I didn't want to think about any of _that_ yet. I was glad I wasn't alone and I wouldn't let his surly attitude ruin that. "Your eyes are all glow-ey again" he commented, pulling my focus back onto him.

"What do you mean?" I asked, running a hand over my eyebrows, shielding my eyes with the palm of my hand, even if just for a moment.

"Well, I know you were like the doorbell of death for a while, but I haven't seen that specific glimmer in your eyes since when you had your powers." My tongue clicked as it fell away from the roof of my mouth; I didn't have a response to that. It's not like I stared into a mirror back when I was doing spells. Shrugging, I turned and continued to trudge through the mud that had congealed over the surface of the forest floor. The sound of rushing water prickled my ears and I was surprised Damon hadn't heard it sooner. Instead of rushing towards the water I spun around and almost fell backward when Damon's chest collided with my face. "What is it now Bennett?" he bit out, exasperated. Ignoring his tone I raised a brow at him.

"Are you… thirsty?" I managed to say. He looked at me like I had just asked him if he had a penis before he became suddenly pensive. His eyebrows scrunched together and he pressed his mouth into a thin line. He turned his back on me to face a nearby tree and slammed his fist into its bark. _Hard_.

"Motherfu-" he cut himself off and cradled his hand, his face red with pain. I scratched the back of my neck as I watched him silently and then stopped short. There was a gash at the base of my skull and I pulled my hand away, staring at the blood on my fingertips. He turned back to face me fully and a thought struck me. I raised my hand to his mouth and waited for the familiar veins to riddle the bottom of his eyes…but, nothing. Two pairs of eyes bulged after moments of tense silence. He smacked my hand away from his face and growled low in the back of his throat. He stared down at me, his face a mixture of rage and confusion, like somehow _I_ was to blame. A twig snapped and his eyes shot over my head to see the source of the disturbance.

"Are you two quite finished?" I would know that voice anywhere and spun around. Fresh tears lined the bottom of my lashes as I turned to face her.

"Grams!"


	2. Chapter 2

_**When I say this is a story about love, I mean it. I really do.**_

_**I know where this is going and I am beyond excited to get there.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Dulce Domum<strong>

**Chapter Two**

"Grams!" I yelled as I immediately ran over to her, Damon forgotten. Distance and lack of contact were no longer enough for me. She held up a hand and I skidded to a stop.

"I know I keep doing this to you baby, but once again, we are not on the same plane."

"What do you mean we're not on the same plane? Where are we?" I asked, denial snaking a nervous smile on my face, "You're right in front of me, you're right here!" She closed her eyes and a tear slipped through and down her cheek. Her head shook from side to side in a resounding _no_.

"This isn't for me; this isn't how it ends for us child. Yet, for whatever reason, Damon is here too and _that_ confounds me. But the two of you are here, and this is yours to have," she said, gesturing around here, "I am merely the welcome mat." My own tears fell as once again I was met with the pain of her death. I could feel Damon standing closer now, but he was quiet. "You have to walk Bonnie. Find the water, find peace and stop fighting the truth of it all. And remember my dear, I love you – always." A choke bubbled in my throat and she was gone before I could get any closer to her. Clutching my forehead and I fell to my knees and concentrated on my breathing. Stop crying, stop crying. Stop. Crying.

"Bonnie?" Damon's voice was a quiet whisper and he had waited a while before he spoke but I wasn't ready. I would never be ready. Wherever we were we were _alone_. Inhaling sharply I stood and continued walking without looking behind me.

* * *

><p>The sound of our footfalls was soon drowned out by the rush of water. I could smell it, the sweet vapour of light mist that wove around us. The forest gave way and so did the some of the floor, to our left a waterfall was exposed and it was breath-taking. Damon and I hadn't said a single word to one another since we started walking, and I was grateful for that. It felt final that time when I saw Grams, it wasn't warm or cold, it didn't inspire hope or fear – it was just a fact. She would never be there for me again, wherever I was. I would never have her back. I would never get anyone back. I would never <strong>get<strong> back. As soon as that thought arose, everything else fell away. We walked around the curve that circled the waterfall, down a convenient pathway and I took deep breaths and I walked. I smelled things, saw things, felt things but I walked. I wouldn't survive this, but for once that thought didn't scare me. This wasn't death to me, this made me think of heaven and after everything I had done I was so sure that I would never deserve that.

"How much longer is this going to take?" Damon hissed suddenly. I didn't even turn to look at him.

"I don't know lemme check my GPS." I kept walking. The pathway dipped down and then had a blind turn. Once we made the curve my heart stopped. There was a house. A _house_. "What?"

"What indeed Bennett." The house was two stories, in a distinct 'H' shape. It had a metre wide porch that seemed to go around the whole building. Beside the wooden double doors were two bay windows, the house itself was a bright white and looked like someone's dream home. Every inch immediately surrounding the property was covered in small flowers, shrubbery, a few large oak trees, bright jade grass and an impossible sunlight. There was no fence, or a distinct walkway but we made our way to the door in silence. A soft whispering began as we stepped onto the porch. "Who is _Dryghtyn_?" he asked, hearing the words as well.

"_Dryghtyn_ is the Divine" I said, not bothering to hide my surprise and confusion. "But I believe that we are being spoken to by the Goddess. Whichever you prefer."

"I wish to call _her_ creepy" Damon snapped. He moved towards the door but some force stopped him. "Oh come on!" he barked when he found he couldn't move around it.

_**Be still. **_

We both froze as the female voice bellowed around them.

_**Bonnie Bennett, I am Gia, the Goddess. I would show myself to you but I do not trust your companion. How he managed to join you in your afterlife is what intrigues me, as this would not happen without reason. That much I believe. This is for you, my love. Everything you see around you is yours. You think that I have not been with you every step of the way and you are wrong. But I didn't need you to believe in me for me to be real. And I am very much real. And this is my way of thanking you for every sacrifice you've made, and this is my way of apologising for everything you've been through as a result of your powers. You've always thought of yourself as someone without a Mother but you are not. You never have been. You are one of my children and I am sorry you have lived a life supposedly without protection. But everything needed to come to pass. It had to reach this point with you. **_

My breathing hitched as I process her words, incoherent stammering was my only response. A soft breeze lifted my hair out of my face, as soft as a caress.

_**Now is not the time for questions, now is the time for rest. If the man behaves he will be allowed inside but I will not stand for his attitude. I demand respect, more so for you than myself. Because when it comes to respecting me there is no question. The only reason I have allowed him to walk through this Eden is because he is yours that much I sense. I will leave you now but remember Bonnie, do not question this, and do not resent this. The sooner you accept it the sooner you can really live. **_

I waited for more words but they never came. Just the musical chirp of birds somewhere in the distance and Damon's breathing. I pulled in air as the world started to spin, I didn't know until then that my body was begging for oxygen. I looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

"I'll be nice." He groaned and I had to laugh at his pained expression. He was obviously out of his depth.

"I'm sure." I replied and walked to the door and swung it open. Turning to look at him I jerked my head for him to come inside. "Where else are you gonna go Damon?"

"Suppose this isn't the worst thing that could happen." He muttered and followed me in.

* * *

><p>The inside of the house – <em>my<em> house? – was beautiful. Almost every surface was wooden and warm; the colours were cream and brown. It was like it was made perfectly for me and I smiled at all the fine details. There was a library crammed with literature and soft leather couches and thick Persian rugs. There was a kitchen with peach walls and steel appliances and fully stocked cupboards and a fridge full of food that could feed a family of ten at _least_. There was a room that was bare save for a cello, a grand baby piano and two guitars. There was a living room with no television, only more books lining the wall with more couches and a thick rectangular coffee table in the centre of the room. Candles were all over the house and I went upstairs to the bedrooms. The upstairs area seemed to be split in half. I assumed that one end was mine and the other would be his. Walking to the left first, with him close behind me, I opened the door and stepped inside.

Everything about the room screamed Damon Salvatore. There was a California King Bed dead centre of the room. The bed was made of rich red wood and looked like you could get lost somewhere in the bedding, not that Damon would mind. I am sure that he was a cat in his past life; living in the lap of luxury and doing everything because he could and because it's ultimately what he wanted said it all. The floors were the same finish as the bed and there were soft billowing curtains hanging from the walls on the furthest end from the door. Stopping myself from further perusal I turned and passed him to get to the entryway of his room.

"This is obviously yours." I said and left without another word. Walking to the other end of the wing I opened the door. _That's more like it_, I thought as I stepped inside to my bedroom. My bed was much the same as Damon's but there was a distinct French influence. The bed was a light cream colour and light netting hung from the four poster wooden railings above. The bedding was a combination of peaches and pastel pinks and whites. Along with the walls that had butterfly motifs decorating the wall directly behind my bed. There were more books here, but I didn't read any of the titles. Gia had gotten everything right so far, I had no doubt that they would be my favourites. I was trailing my hand over the comforter at the end of the bed when there was a soft knock on the door. "Come in" I called lightly. Damon entered with a strange look on his face.

"I'm not meant to be here" he said softly, crossing his arms while he stood closer to the threshold than to me.

"There is a room for you, you're meant to be here." I pointed out.

"Let me rephrase that," he said stepping closer to me, "I wasn't meant to be here and now I am and things have had to change because of that. Don't even get me started on me 'being _yours'_" he said curling his fingers around the words, "because I am trying my best to be grateful."

"Damon I know that this is hard for you and that I am nowhere near the top of the list of people you want to be with right now. This isn't your idea of heaven, Elena's absence makes that much obvious," I said, crossing my arms and sighing, "and I'm sorry I couldn't help you when you needed me to. I _am_, I don't want you to be unhappy Damon, and I don't want you to hate me anymore than you already do but-"

"I don't hate you Bonnie." He said cutting me off, "I never have."

"You don't have to romanticise our dynamic because of what's happened. I'm not a child."

"I'm not saying this to butter you up, I never hated you. No matter what happened between us, and perhaps because of it all, I could never hate you and I _don't_." My heart lurched, and I was sure he could hear it as my nerves shot messages throughout my entire body. "I _owe_ you in fact. I don't know where I'd be right now if I didn't die with you. All you've ever done is made sacrifices for me and my brother, and _Elena_… you deserve all this; you deserve happiness, and all of this that was obviously crafted in your honour. Gia is right. You deserve it all and _I_ don't." Reigning in the want to cry I shook my head.

"You're wrong Damon, you deserve peace too." He disagreed with a slow shake of his head. "Damon, you _do_. Maybe that's why you're here. Maybe 'fate' has something to do with all this. And I don't know about you 'being mine' but I know that I care about you enough to want this for you," I waved him off as he opened his mouth, "Not the being with me part, the freedom of it all part, you deserve a break as much as I do."

"Wrong. But I won't argue about this anymore, I haven't been this hungry since the war." He said, his face contorting in his discomfort. Alarmed I rushed towards him even though his hunger should have me running in the opposite direction.

"What do you need?" I asked, allowing an edge of panic to appear.

"I need…" he said, clutching his stomach, "I need like a sandwich, or something." A confused laugh bubbled through me and I stepped away from him and around him.

"Come on," I called, "I'll make you something."

"No, no, if anyone's cooking it's going to be me." He said, hot on my heels.

* * *

><p><strong>In my opinion Bonnie deserves so much better than the hot mess that has been scripted for her. This is me getting a little justice<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

_**Think of this as the first step in the direction we **_**all**_** want this story to go.**_

_**I am **_**so**_** effing excited. **_

_**You lot are the best.**_

_**PS: Songs in this chapter are "Cough Syrup" Darren Criss cover of Young The Giant & "Everything Has Changed" by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran.**_

_**PPS: A few months have passed between the last chapter and this one. Bear with me**_

* * *

><p><strong>Dulce Domum<strong>

**Chapter Three**

Passing the time with Damon was surprisingly effortless. We both soon realised that we were simply human. Well, as human as you could be when you were dead and in some alternate world where it's just us and we had nothing better to do but slowly find closure with our fate and argue about who made the food. I often thought about what it would have been like if I was left here alone and I found myself shuddering. I was grateful that Damon was with me, and I know that Jeremy should have been prevalent in my thoughts but he wasn't. A lot of people from my time on Earth were beginning to be pushed further back, it hurt too much to miss them and to wonder how they were. So instead I read, and ate, and ran and swam in the pool at the bottom of the waterfall. I would bake and poke my way through the garden and look up at the starless sky in wonder. Even though there was a distinct difference between night and day there was never a true darkness that would fall over the house. There was always a light; dull or bright was the only degree that made the distinction. Damon and I would make idle chit chat but we mostly kept to ourselves, we needed some time I guessed. Damon seemed to be coping as well he could, his mood lifted instantly when he rifled through the basement and found crates and crates of bourbon. He had gone so far as to come _skipping_, I couldn't believe it myself, outside swinging a bottle in each hand. I pulled off the garden gloves and laughed at the unadulterated glee on his face.

"Bless Gia!" He called and screwed one lid off with his teeth before taking a deep swig of the contents. He almost went cross-eyed after that, "Whoa. It has been _too long_ since I've been human and had a drink. I got this for you." He threw the second bottle at me and sat down on the back porch. After catching the bottle I took the lid of and took a sniff.

"I don't think I'll survive that." I said honestly and he gave me a look.

"Who cares? It tastes like _Christmas_, you're _dead_, we're _here_ and we're not going anywhere. _Drink_." Chuckling I took a tentative sip and winced as it went down. Exhaling I shrugged and took another. "There you go." So that's why, sometime later we were flipping through old records he'd also found in the basement.

"Play that one!" I yelled as he held up a copy of an Aretha Franklin album. He pulled it out and laid it down on the record player, dropping the needle randomly. Halfway through the song "Respect" the sound boomed throughout the living room. Squealing I jumped up, using the near empty bottle of bourbon as a mike and sang my way through well into the chorus while Damon giggled, yes _giggled_, into the mouth of his bottle. "I know you know the words!" I barked, kicking at him as he lounged on the floor. Rolling his eyes he grinned.

"Of _course_ I know the words."

"Then sing the words." I insisted.

"Nope." I paused mid-jig and narrowed my eyes at him.

"I believe I have found something that terrifies you."

"Singing doesn't _terrify_ me." Even as he lay there on the floor he managed to talk down to me.

"Then _sing_." I put my hand on my hip and took a swig of bourbon.

"No, you seem to have that down." He sat up and belched, waving in front of his face after, "How is it that I have to die before I hear you sing?"

"I couldn't save lives by singing." I pointed out.

"That doesn't answer my question." He pressed. I sighed, plonking myself down in front of him; he turned the music down and raised his eyebrows.

"I stopped singing after my Grams died." I said with a small shrug, "didn't feel right to after she passed."

"Well, you can add that to the list of things you wasted during your life." He retorted.

"There's a list?"

"_There's a list_." He echoed with a nod.

"Well," I said and cleared my throat, "I used to sing. I used to dance; I used to play instruments. I used to draw and take photos. I _used to_," I emphasised, "be a normal teenage girl."

"You were never normal Bonnie," he argued lightly like he knew this for a fact, "Well, you never stood the chance to be normal, witch or not. I know this now."

"Is that so?" I teased as I took another sip, "I suppose it makes sense then. To lose it all." He frowned at me and scoffed.

"You act like the universe was plotting against you." He said after a beat.

"It was and it won, in case you've forgotten the situation we're currently in."

"If this is what the universe had in store for you this whole time then I believe _you've_ won." Damon's eye bulged as he spoke.

"What's it like having a heart beat again?" I asked, ignoring his statement. He froze with his arm mid-air waiting to drink some more. "You do have a heart beat don't you?"

"Do you?" He countered.

"Sure, it's struggling right now with all the bourbon but it's there."

"I've been trying to ignore it actually." He answered quietly. "It doesn't feel right."

"Well it's been a while since you've felt it."

"It kind of lulls me into believing that all those years as a vampire was a lie. That it was all some nightmare and I just woke up, _here_. With my heartbeat and the quiet country outside. I'm waiting for my mother to turn a corner in the house and smile at me. It's ….a little too much."

"It's a heartbeat Damon." I said softly, trying to ease him out of whatever was slowly pulling him down.

"_Really_ Bonnie? It's more than that for me; it's more than that for you as well. All you've ever wanted was to live despite you continuously running headfirst into the depths of your demise. Every thump, every pulse is a reminder that you failed, or did you fail? You're here and yet you are no more. All you have is me and your heartbeat."

"Well," I said, ignoring the sting in my eyes, "all _you_ have is _me_ and _your_ heartbeat."

"I am a creature of adaptation and acclimation. I can fall in line in order to survive; it's something I learned as a vampire. You're not used to change, not change that is this sudden and this overwhelming."

"No," I disagreed, "Just because I fight it doesn't mean I don't understand it, sure the last thing I wanted was to die again. Especially leaving things the way I did on Earth. But I won't deny myself this anymore Damon. I can't. Because like everything else, it's only a matter of time before this is taken from me as well."

"We have more in common than we thought then." He mumbled, clinking his bottle with mine.

"Perhaps." I allowed with a small smile. "I'm glad you're here Damon."

"I'm glad too. You'd be here all alone if I wasn't and I don't want to waste time thinking of where I'd be if it wasn't for you."

"Well, there wouldn't be bourbon that's for sure."

* * *

><p>When I woke up the next morning I was wrapped up in a blanket on the couch, my eyes adjusted to the light quickly enough and I was surprised to find I had no hangover. Sitting up gently just in case I let the material fall to my waist as I stretched. Damon was nowhere to be found, probably off somewhere wondering what possessed him to be so candid with me. I got up, gripped the blanket around myself and made my way to the music room. Picking up the guitar I sat down and crossed my legs, letting my fingers run softly over the strings. I seemed to be running those same hands over the strings of my heart but I swallowed those negative thoughts and forged on. Clearing my throat I began to strum a familiar tune and without giving it much thought I began to sing one of my favourite songs.<p>

"_**Life's too short to even care at all, oh**_

_**I'm losing my mind, losing my mind**_

_**Losing control, oh, oh**_

_**These fishes in the sea, they're staring at me, oh**_

_**A wet world aches for the beat of a drum.**_

_**If I could find a way, to see this straight **_

_**I'd run away to some fortune that I, I**_

_**Should have found by now**_

_**I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down**_

_**Come down."**_

I choked before I could even think of getting to the second verse, it was too much. I didn't even notice Damon at the threshold of the door before I was getting to my feet and wiping my eyes.

"You have a beautiful voice." Was all he said while he looked over at me. I tried to smile but I couldn't and walked quickly past him to get to my room, closing the door and falling down onto my bed so I could ball my eyes out. Much later I went downstairs, freshly showered and hopefully sane and I stopped as I heard the light strumming of a guitar coming from the music room. I made my way over to him quietly as he sat, where I did earlier, strumming distractedly. Without a word I picked up the second guitar and picked a melody that wove between his. He glanced at me, not stopping and nodded. We strummed like this for a few minutes before he stopped and moved pages of sheet music towards me.

"I've been reading over it and I was going to play it before you came down, I see it's a duet. Care to join me?" I knew this song.

"Can you sing?" I asked softly.

"I could be so persuaded."

"Even to a Taylor Swift song?" I asked, wanting to be doubly sure.

"Just. _Play_ it Bennett." I laughed lightly and began strumming. He nodded for me to start singing.

"_**All I knew, this morning when I woke**_

_**Is I know something now, know something now**_

_**I didn't before.**_

_**And all I've seen, since eighteen hours ago**_

_**Is green eyes, and freckles and your smile,**_

_**In the back of my mind making me feel like -**_

_**I just wanna know you better, know you better**_

_**Know you better now**_

_**I just wanna know you better, know you better, **_

_**Know you better now."**_

He joined me after that part of the song and I had to shove down my surprise when he harmonised perfectly with me.

"_**All I know since yesterday, is everything has changed."**_

He sang the second verse and I was grinning in earnest at the sight of him. Damon Salvatore with a guitar, eyes closed in the bliss of musical freedom. His voice was soft and sweet, with a note of huskiness I hadn't noticed before. He was a man without inhibitions, no qualms or worries lining his face. If anything, this is what I wanted for him. Something I couldn't give to his brother, or his best friend, or anyone else that left us on my time on Earth. Although to be perfectly honest I was still on the fence about Enzo, all things considered, but I knew everyone had a story. But there was something I had failed to provide for the ones I loved; a peaceful afternoon, doing the first thing that came to mind. Wasn't that anyone's wish for those whom they cared for? It occurred to me then that Damon and Stefan, as well as everyone else I cared about, provoked a sense of territorialism in me. And a result of this was me wanting everything it seemed I could never give them. I had literally killed myself trying to do that and yet it wasn't enough.

So I would stop, I only needed to be told so many times. I would take this moment, and whichever others that might follow and cherish them. I deserved that much. So did Damon. And I hoped, I prayed, that Earth gave them all their own sense of peace. I sang on with Damon, my heart warming at the sound of his genuine laughter. When the song ended we were both feeling better, a quiet warmness settling over us as we sat there guitars in our hands.

"Thank you Bonnie." He said after a while.

"Thank _you_ Damon." I replied. Standing up. "Hungry?"

"Always."

* * *

><p>Dinner had become some sort of routine event with our days. If Damon was cooking I was sketching as I sat in the bar stool talking with him. If I was cooking, he was hovering over me, trying to get me to add things to the pot or pan. Tonight I threw my hands up in surrender and moved to sit while he cackled in his success.<p>

"It's for the best Bennett, really."

"Whatever Salvatore, that's the last time I try and cook for you." I pulled the pad of paper and handful of pencils that stayed in the kitchen towards me and chewed on my bottom lip. He put a glass of wine within my reach and then turned back to 'assess the damage' as he so kindly put it.

Ignoring him, I thought of what I could draw. I had been avoiding sketching Damon, for a few reasons. One, his commentary, two, the fact that he couldn't be still unless he was asleep and that was too creepy to consider and three, he had _way_ too many angles. Sighing, I decided to sketch Stefan from memory and that's why I didn't notice her until she spoke.

"I died much before he was this age, but I'd know my son anywhere. You are very talented my dear." I froze along with Damon but the woman remained indifferent. I looked up at her and then gasped. She had long black hair, hair that immediately made me think of Damon. Her skin had the warm olive tone that Stefan's possessed and she had pale green eyes and I finally knew where Damon got his mouth from.

"Are you… Are you who I think you are?" I stammered, since Damon had yet to turn. She smiled softly and looked quickly at him before turning back to me.

"Yes, I am Mrs Salvatore." She put a delicate hand on mine and leaned forward, "But you can call me Ines."

* * *

><p><strong>Oh yes she did.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

_**Oh Ines Salvatore, how I wish you were real. **_

_**Damon and Bonnie are about to go on the journey of their 'lives', **_**un**_**-lives? Eh, semantics**_

**Let the BAMON commence!**

**(thank you thank you thank you thank you)**

* * *

><p><strong>Dulce Domum<strong>

**Chapter Four**

"Ines?" I mumbled, blinking rapidly at her angelic face. She nodded patiently and we both turned to look at Damon who was still frozen still. Clearing my throat I muttered an 'excuse me' as I stood up and made my way over to Damon. I placed my hand on his shoulder and shook him lightly. "Damon?" I whispered, moving him so he could look at me, "Damon, someone is here to see you." His face was blank but his eyes were in turmoil. Their blue seemed to be churning and darkening all at once; like he had trapped an entire ocean in his gaze. A violent storm, somehow. I rubbed his arms and turned his still rigid body to face his mother.

"My darling Damon…" she said in a hushed tone as she stepped towards him. It felt wrong for me to be here so I began to step away. Damon's hand shot out and clasped mine.

"_No_." Was all he said as he gripped my small hand in his. I swallowed loudly and nodded, stepping back to him. He watched her as she made her way to him; dressed in simple grey silk top and trousers. She looked every bit a modern mother, even though she hadn't been around during the evolution of fashion. Her black hair was long and bone straight, parted down the middle, highlighting her angular features. Her smile was genuine yet tentative as she neared him and I chanced a glance at his face. Nothing. When she was close enough she reached out and ran her index finger down the side of his face. A ghost of a touch. His eyelids fluttered to a close. His grip on me weakened as she held his face in her hands and brought him into the enclosure of her arms. She started to whisper things into his ear as I made my escape out of the kitchen, she sounded like she was singing in French. I backed away as I watched him sink into her; like he had been running all his life and he could no longer stand on his own two feet because he was simply too tired. Seeing Damon like this was unlike anything I could have ever imagined; so frightened, so tired, so _vulnerable_. Not weak, Damon was never weak, not even in his second death but here and now he was vulnerable.

Turning, I bolted up the stairs and went to hide in my room, my heart clamouring away in my chest but I ignored it. I ignored the sliver of jealousy at their intimate moment and I walked dejectedly to my bed as the mess of emotions slammed together in my heart, deciding then that dinner could most certainly wait.

* * *

><p>"…Mother?" Damon breathed as they finally loosened their grip on one another. Faintly Damon remembered that Bonnie had been here not a few moments ago but now she was nowhere to be seen. Ines nodded at his question and smiled brightly.<p>

"Yes, my love." She said in that singing voice of hers. Damon drew in a deep breathe in the revelation of this impossible moment.

"**How**?" He asked when what he really wanted to know was _how long?_

"Bonnie." She answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Bonnie?" He echoed, "she's not a witch anymore and even when she was this was never a possibility."

"Anything is possible my love, but you are right. Yet," she mused with their smirk on her face, "you are also _wrong_. She cares for you in the way she cares for most things; with a fervent passion that destroys the notion of 'impossible'. Her heart can bring just about anything into being with that soul of hers. That much is true."

"So she wished you into being?" He asked, needing some clarification. His mother giggled and the sound stirred up so many dormant emotions that it rendered him immobile for a few moments before she took his hands in hers. They stood in front of each other, eye to eye as a small part of him delighted that he could now look into his mother's eyes directly. The way every son should one day get the opportunity to do. Stefan's name burned its way through his chest.

"My sweet Damon, stop asking these questions and ask yourself why I'm really here." Sarcasm and belligerence and general idiocy fell away as the sound of his mother's voice warmed his insides. She soothed every ailment while she spoke bringing a peace Damon had long given up hope on feeling.

"I could ask myself the question for the rest of this endless day and I would never know." He answered his tone coated in awe and wonder. She squeezed his hands before she looked around the kitchen.

"Oh my child…" She crooned as she put her arm around his waist as they walked through the house, ascending the stairs, "I suppose then it is for the best that I will be here for a while then isn't it?" His heart hiccupped before picking up a thunderous reverberation in his chest.

"Longer than a night?" He asked as she stepped out of his hold.

"Longer than a night," she said with a quick nod, "now if you'll be a dear and finish supper I have another child who needs a mother's love." She gave him a soft kiss to his forehead before walking to Bonnie's bedroom door. He stood there for a moment before heading back downstairs to do as his mother asked of him.

* * *

><p>I was counting to two thousand in my head when there was a soft knock on my door. I hadn't even made it to one hundred, pity. Nerves shot out lines of electricity through my body as I got up out of bed and fixed my appearance. For all I knew the Salvatores were on the other side of the door with new information that I wasn't ready for. Like, Damon heading off into a clouded oblivion with his mother and leaving me here alone, with a house full of nothing but myself. I would never deny him that and he wouldn't even ask for my permission anyway. Sighing I shook it all off and put my bravest face.<p>

"Bonnie, it's only me." Ines said softly. I opened the door slowly and she looked down at me with the kindest eyes I had ever seen outside of my grandmother's face. Just the thought of Shelia threatened to send me into another tear-filled bout of hysteria. "Now, now my dear girl." She said as she stepped into the room and pulled me into a hug, "Don't cry. Ssh, don't cry." My arms wound around her thin waist of their own volition. She ran her hand through my hair while the other held me tightly. She smelled like fresh flowers and the soft smell of something baking in a kitchen. She smelled like a mother, the fondest memory anyone could dredge up and I suddenly felt very selfish for having her all to myself.

"I'm sorry" I said as I stepped out of her hold, wiping my tears away, "I wanted to give you and Damon some privacy." She nodded and crossed her arms in a delicate manner.

"For that I am grateful," she said her eyes roaming over my face, "but what I really want to thank you for surpasses allowing my son and I a moment of privacy." The way she spoke was so regal and so poised; she was the embodiment of decorum, of love and a better time that everyone knew of but could never pinpoint. I processed her words and waited for her to continue. "You were in Damon's life when he was at his worst. The same can be said for Stefan and though they were both enamoured with the Petrova doppelgangers, you gave up literally everything that was yours Bonnie, _everything_. You gave to both Damon and Stefan and you made every attempt at doing the right thing at the same time. You did your best to remain true to yourself and your own cause while keeping those in your midst safe. Your love knows no bounds and I don't think my sons truly understand how lucky they are. Where the Petrova affections have been riddled down through their bloodline a love like yours cannot be and will _never be_ cloned, no matter which variation it may be in the shape of. You are one of a kind miss Bennett and the Universe has had some spectacular timing in your creation where my family is concerned."

"I…" she waved me off.

"Do you believe in fate?" I considered her question for a moment.

"Sure. _Yes_" I stammered.

"Then believe what I say. On Earth it may seem that all is tied to Elena, but you are what ties it all together Bonnie. Beyond your magic, it is _you_. Your love and dedication. Every facet of your soul is magical, in the literal sense as well as the Romantic literary sense, I suppose." She said smiling broadly, "Now come. My son is cooking and I don't want to miss any more of it. And I would also like the girl who reunited us in the room so we can share a meal and be grateful of one another."

* * *

><p>When we stepped into the kitchen Damon was up to his elbows in a tomato based sauce he was cooking for the pasta I had begun preparing earlier on. He turned to greet us as we entered and I couldn't help the soft gasp as I took in his features. Sure, Damon was beautiful, like his brother but what my Grams once said to me as a child rang into my mind once again.<p>

_**"Love is beautiful. True love is magical and it can change the very features of your face"**_

Love clung to Damon's eyelashes, it pulled at the corner of his mouth, and it helped him to breathe easier. His eyes shone as he looked at Ines and I hadn't seen him this happy in all the days I had known him. Love bubbled in his chest in the form of laughter, moved his hands swiftly as he cooked and sunk deep into his bones.

"I never thought I'd see this day" Ines mused aloud as she took a sip of the wine Damon had poured for me earlier.

"Neither did I" I replied, shock clear in my voice.

"He's cooked for you has he not?" Ines asked, confused.

"Yes he's cooked, but he hasn't _really_ smiled since I've known him."

"Is that so? How terribly sad I am to hear that. But, you have given him a cause to smile tonight."

"No Ines, I believe that is you."

"And my point remains Bonnie." She said, running her hand down the back of my head as her eyes shone.

"Alright you two, dinner is just about done. Bonnie, set the table would you? The one outside."

"Sure Damon" I said and made my way to the garden outside. Usually at dinner time the sky had turned to a deep blue that was sometimes painted with purples and pinks. Tonight the sky was riddled lines of light that broke through the deep blue colour; like daytime and night time were tired of choosing between the other. It was a sight to behold. The beams of light that shone through gave everything an ethereal glow. I set the table outside; contrasting the iron caste shape with soft cream napkins and shimmering white plates and silver cutlery. Ines stepped outside to join me with candles bundled in her arms. She set them all up in the centre of the table and looked over at me expectantly.

"Is everything alright?" I asked, looking between her and the candles.

"It is for the most part, yes, I must have forgotten the matches to light these, mind lending me a hand?" She said, gesturing towards my person instead of back into the house to find the forgotten item.

"Oh, Ines," I said waving my hands, "I don't have my powers anymore, I'm just human."

"Bonnie, you control everything around you here, human or not." That brought me up short, "just think about the lighting the candles."

"Is this not strange for you? Vampires and witches, and endless afterlife that has brought you back to your son?"

"I've learned long ago to accept certain blessings as I have also learned to accept certain curses and Bonnie, I have seen it all. I know everything I need to, to accept you and my children for what they are and what they have done. Just… light the candles." I looked at her for a few more moments before I closed my eyes. Something clicked in my chest and I opened my eyes to see all the candles lit.

"Am I witch again?" I asked, in wonder.

"No, you're something _much_ more magical." Ines said with a sigh and clapped her hands together before stepping back into the house.

* * *

><p>"Damon had the keenest eye when he was a child," Ines was saying after dinner over glasses of wine, "he would spend hours in the garden, fascinated with the tiniest creatures."<p>

"Ma_ma_" Damon groaned as she giggled with delight, "you embarrass me."

"No darling," she argued with a raised finger, "embarrassing you would be telling Bonnie how you were averse to clothing _well_ into your youth." I snickered at that, I was pretty sure Damon was still the same, "and with you being so pale you were like a bright light running around the estate singing silly songs." Damon's head dropped onto the table in mock shame as a moan came out of him. I was enjoying this far too much. I wiped away a stray tear and sighed.

"Fantastic" I breathed as I pulled my legs up onto the seat and hugged them. "You must tell me more."

"And I shall," Ines said with a sweet smirk, "but for now I would much rather retire to a bedroom."

"Of course, I don't know how this works, with the house and all but I'll hel-" I stumbled over my words as I stood.

"No need dear, my room is right next to yours in fact. Call it a hunch. I'll see you in the morning." She leaned down and kissed Damon on the cheek and rounded the table to kiss me on the head and squeeze my shoulder. When she left I sunk back into the chair and clutched onto my wine glass. Damon looked pensive yet peaceful. His eyes flashed to me suddenly.

"Thank you Bonnie. Even if she is gone in the morning, thank you."

"She'll be here." I said softly - of _course_ she would. I pulled my legs back up and sighed, blinking slowly.

"I'm sorry your Grams isn't here." He said after the longest while. He wasn't looking at me as he said the words and I looked away from his face almost immediately.

"Don't be," I said, my voice shaking, "_Really_. You need this Damon. Like I said before, you deserve peace and this is you getting closer to that. It's all I want for you, remember that."

"I don't deserve this from you or even in contrast to you. You are much too good to be affiliated with me."

"It's a good thing I never really was then huh?" I said with a watery smile. He gave me the strangest look and then burst into a bright smile as he leapt out of his chair. He grabbed the glass from my hands and lifted me up, yanking me into a bear hug. "Oh!" I gasped as he squished my frame. The tears that were imminent shrank away and were replaced by breathless giggles as he swung me around the garden chortling like a maniac. When he let me down back onto my feet he looked down at me before taking a large step away and bowing before me as he held onto my one hand. He placed a quick kiss on the back of my hand and then swung his arms up to the sky.

"Good night to all!" he bellowed, pulling me to the back porch steps with him, "and to all a good night!"

* * *

><p><strong>Now <em>this<em> is more like it.**

**I want their character development to be natural and logical. I don't want to 'change' Damon into a sap or anything, but I think in many ways he's about to come full circle and realise where he needs to go from here and that maybe there is a reason behind all of this that has _nothing_ to do with Mystic Falls and even less to do with Elena.**

**NB: Time has passed, Damon and Bonnie have been holding a lot in regarding their deaths but all these conversations _will_ happen, revelations will be made...but like all good things, it takes time.**

**Sorry for my long note. I just want you all to know where my head is at with this. I hope you liked this chapter!**


	5. Chapter 5

**_The songs are "How The Day Sounds" by Greg Laswell and "Paperweight" by Joshua Radin and Schuyler Fisk. _**

**_I like to think that wherever they are, Bamon are closer to Heaven than they are Hell/Earth/Mystic Falls_**

**_This one is a bit short but it was needed. Enjoy x_**

* * *

><p><strong>Dulce Domum<strong>

**Chapter Five**

The deep, sorrowful notes calling from a cello was what woke me up the following morning. I wriggled into reality and my soft bedding as everything around me came into focus. The vibration from the sound of the strings called to me on the second floor of the home. I stepped out of the blankets and padded over to my door. Swinging it open I was immediately drawn to Damon's shape further down the hall; as half-asleep and curious as I was. We both made our way to the stairs, taking slow cautious steps until we reached one another.

"Morning." I whispered, why, I didn't know.

"Morning." He replied, as if he was unsure somehow.

"Wanna go see your mom?" I asked, shifting my weight on my feet. He nodded and gestured for me to walk ahead of him. He was dressed in black cotton pyjama pants where I was dressed in white cotton nightdress that went just over my knees. Running my fingers through my hair I followed the sound of the cello. Once we stepped into the music room, the vibrating floor and figure of Ines greeted us. She drew the note out and then let it die as she turned to smile at us.

"I've got to say," I started walking further into the room, "that was the best wakeup call I have ever had." She beamed and looked behind me, where Damon was sure to still be hovering.

"Mama." He said softly. I looked between the two of them and flounced onto the floor after grabbing one of the guitars.

"I'd like to play something for you" I said, sounding braver than I felt. She nodded and sat closer to me on the floor and crossed her legs. She was dressed in a free flowing maxi dress made of billowing layers of chiffon in teals, purples and blues and she was barefoot. Her hair fell down in perfect waves, framing her face beautifully. She was perfection personified. I heard Damon's feet inch towards me from behind but kept my eyes focused on his mother. Clearing my throat I began strumming the familiar tune. I looked down at the guitar and began to sing.

_**Who would have ever known this**_

_**Could be this easy, oh**_

_**I was a long, long way off**_

_**And just like that it's over**_

_**Everything that I knew of love**_

_**I was long, long way off**_

_**And I think I like how the day sounds**_

_**Like how the day sounds**_

_**Through this new song**_

I closed my eyes and let the song take over in my mind; I hadn't felt this peaceful in years.

_**Thank you for opening the window**_

_**The sky is clear as my mind is now**_

_**I was long, long way off**_

_**Join me in welcoming the sun in**_

_**It's much brighter than the night**_

_**I hid in**_

_**I was a long, long way off**_

_**And I think I like how the day sounds**_

_**Like how the day sounds through this new song**_

_**From a long way down**_

_**Yeah it's well worth the time that it's taken, **_

_**To get here now**_

_**Yeah it's well worth the time that it's taken**_

_**To get here now**_

_**Mmm**_

I hummed along to the tune during the instrumental interlude and risked a peek at Damon. Nothing.

_**So go ahead and bang your gong**_

_**Nothing can drown out the sound**_

_**Of the whisper of my love**_

_**The lines have all be drawn**_

_**I know where I belong**_

_**Where I belong, where I belong**_

_**Oh won't you sing along**_

_**Oh my love won't you sing along?**_

I let the notes trickle off into silence before I looked over at the woman in front of me. Her eyes were wide and her one hand was at her throat.

"That was for me?" She asked after a few moments. I nodded, no longer trusting my voice, even though I had somehow managed to make my way through a whole Gregg Laswell song. "Thank you, Bonnie."

"That was to say thank you, to you Ines," I said, resting the instrument in my lap, "Thank you." A playful pensiveness took over her features and she stood to rifle through the piles of sheet music that had piled up in the music room since their discovery in the basement.

"This song…" she said, walking back to me, "I've been reading the words over and over and imagining the sounds in my mind. Will you and Damon play this for me?" I turned to look at him and he shrugged, grabbing the guitar and sitting next to me. We read over the music and looked at each other.

"Do you know it?" He asked and I nodded, he looked impressed.

"Do you?" I countered curiously.

"Sure, never played it before though, why this song?" He asked turning to the raven haired woman who was once again sitting cross legged. She shrugged gracefully and folded her hands in her lap.

"The words called me." We both nodded and he began strumming which I soon harmonised with. He nodded and I began to sing.

_**Been up all night**_

He fell in line and once again I was struck by the sound of his voice.

_**Staring **__**at you**_

_**Wondering what's on your mind**_

_**I've been this way with so many before**_

_**But this feels like the first time**_

_**You want the sunrise**_

_**Go back to bed**_

_**I wanna make you laugh**_

_**Mess up, my bed with me**_

_**Kick off the covers I'm waiting**_

_**Every word you say**_

_**I think I should write down**_

_**Don't want to forget come daylight**_

We kept singing until the song drew to an end. She clapped once and kept her hands suspended in front of her chest. A quick tear slivered down her cheek and she blushed, wiping hastily at the intruder. I trailed my fingers over the strings distractedly, loving the haphazard sounds it elicited.

"Breakfast?" Damon suggested and Ines nodded immediately, I smiled at them in response.

"Sure." I said, hoping this little melancholy that had wound around my chest would leave me as soon as it found me.

"Bonnie dear," Ines called to me as she stood, her hand reaching for mine, "never linger." I nodded and stood to my feet, and she walked me through the house, her hand still in mine.

* * *

><p>After breakfast I excused myself and went up to my room. I pulled out the dusty record player and found a record by Sam Smith, something I chose to gloss over and let his words reverberate through my room. I stood under the shower for the longest time, wondering when the water would run cold. The record had long stopped when I stepped out. Towelling myself down I dressed in a black cotton maxi skirt with a yellow crop top. I dried my hair and styled it in loose waves that seemed to do the job of clearing my head. By the time I was finished I was sure the day had wasted away waiting for me. There was a knock on the door as I nodded at my reflection.<p>

"Come in." I called out, smoothing down the lines of the skirt that ran well past my bare feet. To my surprise Damon stepped inside. I cleared my throat and slammed my hands together, even wringing them for good measure. I swallowed thickly as I looked at him and he raised his hands in response to my obvious apprehension.

"I just wanted to ask you something." He said after he was sure I wouldn't throw myself out of the nearest window.

"…Ask away" I said with forced enthusiasm, and I was sure on any other day he would have called me on it.

"Why have you been so skittish?" He blurted, sticking his hands in the pockets of his dark denim jeans.

"Skittish?" I echoed, confused, "I haven't been _skittish_." The horrified edge to my voice disagreed.

"Yes," he argued matter-of-factly, "yes you have" I chewed my bottom lip and exhaled clearing the majority of the space between us and began pacing in front of him as I spoke.

"Well, because I don't know what to _say_ to you Damon, I don't know how I brought her here, or how I lit those candles, or why someone _else_ didn't come," I said, not daring to say her name aloud, or even in my mind anymore, "I don't know what to do or how long she'll be here and I _hate_ that, and I _know_ it's weird but even _I'm_ already attached to her and I _know_ you must want your time with her, I mean it's been almost _two_ centuries and here _I_ am-"

"Bonnie"

"_Ruining_ it all, and then I thought to myself, how is it all even _possible_? What _is_ this place? Is she Gia? Is she a combination of your mother _and_ Gia? Or she just your mother, _sent_ by Gia? And if so, what did that have to do with _me_?" I flashed a glance at him then but didn't register anything, "and to top it all off, when she _does_ leave I'm scared of what it will do Damon, to _you_ and I …I"

"You think too much," he finished for me, uncrossing his arms and sighing, "are you quite finished?" I balked at that, skidding to a stop.

"Done with _what_?" I asked, crossing my arms and furrowing my brows.

"Being weird." I scrunched up my face at that and he laughed, a quick happy sound, "I was worried about you and of course you had to have a near breakdown just waiting on the back burner didn't you?" he stepped towards me and reached out to touch me and I stood there numb. He pulled me into a hug, a short one, and held me at arm's length, "I'm not here to question anything about this house or my mother, or _Gia_" he said his tone lilting playfully at her name, "just worried about you." My confusion deepened. "Easy, you're starting to look like Stefan." He teased and dropped his hands from my arms. I rubbed them quietly and thought about everything he had said.

"You're worried about me?" I asked, almost sure I needed to clean out my ears. He rolled his eyes at me and nodded.

"That's why I'm here." He said, throwing out his hands grandly with a big smile. I huffed in response.

"I don't know how I feel." I muttered after a minute of wondering whether he was serious or not. He pressed his lips into a tight line and waited. "I mean," I huffed and fidgeted, "I know I'm _probably_ on the verge of Bonnying it out of proportion-"

"_Your_ words." He interjected with raised hands.

"So, for now, I'll just let it go and go with it… I guess." I swung my arms around awkwardly and tried to smile.

"You're not very good at this are you?" He asked, with a small smile. His blue eyes were glittering as he spoke, like he knew something I didn't – like they used to whenever we would argue. I narrowed my eyes in response, a natural reaction it would seem and folded my mouth in on itself. "Come on, we're going for a walk."

"A walk?" I echoed as he put his arm around my shoulders and began steering me to my door.

"Yes, parrot, a _walk_." I growled in response causing him to grin.

* * *

><p>Ines walked alongside Bonnie while Damon forged ahead into the thick fauna that coated nearly every available surface of earth. The skirts of their dresses trailed along dancing over the thick grass and precious flowers. The earth was soft under their feet and Bonnie smiled as she walked and spoke to Ines about this and that; French food, the world in her life, this world, the afterlife, dreams, the sky, her son.<p>

"I could do this each and every day." Bonnie said as she trailed her fingertips over long stemmed flowers she couldn't name. They had bright sea blue petals that glowed against the forest green of their stems and the surrounding grass. Ines hummed in agreement, following Damon's steps with her eyes. Bonnie noticed and her lip quirked quickly upward. As if sensing his mother's gaze he turned to beam over at her before continuing on his path.

"I would do this every day if I could." Ines replied solemnly and Bonnie swallowed uncomfortably but Ines reached for her hand as they walked, giving a light squeeze.

"I am so glad I met you." Bonnie whispered. Ines laughed softly.

"As am I, sweet child, as am I."

* * *

><p>I looked back over my shoulder once more and saw Bonnie and my mother trailing after me, hand in hand, both women smiling brilliantly. It was strange, she wasn't that much older – <em>technically<em> –than Bonnie and myself now and that was odd, but wonderfully so.

I was still too scared to hold onto my mother for too long, scared she'd slip through my fingers and I couldn't have that, not just yet. Just watching her, hearing her speak, hearing her laugh and watching as the sun bounced off of her features was more than enough for me. I already felt like I was cheating death, now I constantly felt like I was seconds from being snatched out of this dream and back to the darkness of my real life. Nothing was ever this perfect, and nothing this perfect ever felt this real. I stopped as I reached the clearing and soon they stood on either side of me.

"Damon…" my mother breathed softly, holding onto my forearm and I looked over at her face etched in awe, as if I had crafted this meadow myself. I looked to my right and down at Bonnie, smiling at her expression. The meadow in front of us had a collection of flowers filling every inch of space in the perfect circular space. Bright jades to deep royal blues; feverish reds and crisp yellows bubbled in this cauldron of spectacular colour.

"It's beautiful." Bonnie sighed and knelt down to inspect the flowers just at our feet. "When did you find this place Damon?" she asked, leaning up to look at me as her fingers ghosted over violet petals.

"A few days ago, before my mom was here." I admitted, placing the hand of my free arm on top of my mother's.

"It's wonderful darling." She whispered in my ear and too dropped to her haunches to inspect the flowers. I did the same, and couldn't have been happier than in this moment with the two of them at my side.

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><p><strong>For some reason, Damon's mum and Bonnie getting along makes <em>so<em> much sense to me and just felt so, so right for this. **

**Also, I know Bonnie's MO is the sacrificial lamb but do not fret pretties, because Damon is Team Bonnie on this one ;)**

**Thank you so much for all the kind words. They're like catnip to me**

**Stay excellent**


	6. Chapter 6

**Things are about to take a turn for the ... **

**Thank you all so so so so SO much for the lovely response to this. I'm sitting here grinning like a moron, but that's that Bamon effect for you**

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><p>Intro by the XX was blaring as Bonnie took her time getting ready for the day. She danced around slowly, moving her hands as she did so. She had made it her mission of late to seize the moment. She was feeling especially inspired this morning and sang a harmony over the melody.<p>

"Beautiful." She stopped dead and spun around at the sound of his voice.

"Damon, you scared me." She chastised him, clutching her chest.

"Scared you?" He echoed, "What are we? Back on Earth?" She pulled a face at him. Turning back to her full length mirror she tilted her head. "You look great, let's go."

"Where are we going?" She asked, ignoring his compliment. He walked towards her and smacked her hands away as they faffed with the hem of her loose fitting crop top. She had paired it with worn denim shorts and sneakers; a small section of her mid-riff was showing along with the majority of her legs, not that he would complain. Her hair was sleek and straight, something Damon could admit to liking recently. She looked at him in the reflection of the mirror as he stood behind her and raised her brows. "Well?" She prompted him. He blinked a few times and took a step away from her before answering.

"My mother made a picnic." He replied, falling onto her bed.

"Damon, I _just_ made that up." She whined, shooing him off and fixing the sheet.

"Someone's unusually anal today." He commented dryly as he watched her right the bedding. She glared at him in response.

"You're throwing off my chi."

"Your _chi_?" He echoed drolly.

"You heard me. I was perfectly centred before you barged in here."

"I wouldn't call it barging," he argued with a smirk, "you didn't even hear me."

"Irrelevant."

"Are you coming to the picnic or not?" He asked with a sigh, neither knew why she was being so fussy. She stood upright and exhaled slowly.

"Of course I am." She said. A silence fell upon them as they locked eyes. Damon was the first to break the connection. He raked his eyes over her quickly and grinned, knowing full well he was about to ruin the moment.

"You should wear those shorts more often." He said. She scoffed and threw a pillow at him as he chuckled.

"Get out." She demanded, hating how hot her face was getting.

"Seriously," he continued, "like _every_ day."

"_Out_ Damon." She practically growled.

"We're leaving in twenty." He called before shutting the door. She fell back onto her mattress with a low groan.

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><p>Hours after the picnic (that was literally on the ledge of the waterfall, something Bonnie contested in vain); the trio had returned home and Ines excused herself. Bonnie was still collapsed on the couch with a happy sigh, trailing her finger across the hem of the seat. Her eyes snapped up to meet Damon's as he walked into the room. He eased himself into the opposite chair like an old man, or a pregnant woman.<p>

"Tired?" Bonnie asked with a chuckle. Damon quirked a brow in response but didn't comment. Bonnie's head fell back and her eyes fluttered closed.

"Bon-Bon?"

"Mmm?" She ignored his nickname for her, snuggling further into the hold of the upholstery.

"How are you?" She peeled open and eye as she lifted her head to look him up and down.

"…I'm good, you?" He pursed his lips and stroked his chin.

"Good." He muttered with a nod.

"Good." She said and returned to her previous position and hummed happily.

"Bonnie?" She sighed and sat up.

"Yes, Damon?" She asked, knowing he had something he needed to say. He narrowed his eyes as he leant forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

"How do you feel about me?" She tucked her legs under herself as she thought about it for a moment.

"With regards to?" She asked, needing clarification.

"Our…dynamic. Friendship? _Thing_, _this_ whatever, _this_ is." He said gesturing wildly. Her mouth fell open slightly as she considered his words.

"More than anything else…I trust you." She said after tense silence.

"You _trust_ me?" He spluttered, clearly not expecting that. She nodded.

"But I guess that's more a testament to my character than yours." She added as an afterthought. His frown deepened.

"Ignoring the self-deprecatory spiel that is no doubt impending," he said with a sweep of his hand, "I want you to know something."

"Okay." She said all ears.

"Long story short?" He asked, the lilt in his voice paying homage to his nervousness at the importance of his next few words, "I love you." Her heart stood still. And then shot off at an unprecedented pace. She knew this wasn't a romantic love but that didn't lessen the overwhelming feeling that lifted up and over her head. She began to nod looking down at her hands. She knew what he meant and she knew that despite it all, she felt the same way. After everything; after the near deaths, the fights, the blood, the banter, the sacrifices, the disappointments and then the final blow of actual death. Damon was a part of who she was now, he was a part of her life, or whatever was left of it now and she was secretly pleased it was the same for him.

"I love you too Damon." She said softly, smiling more to herself than him. They locked eyes and she laughed, rolling her eyes as she stood to her feet. She walked over to him and pulled him up by his hands. "Now let's hug this out so I can start on dinner." He obliged her happily but began shaking his head.

"You're not cooking." He said sternly, "Why don't you just finish the sketch of Ines and then get dizzy drunk on that Merlot you love so much?"

"You speak to my soul." She teased and skipped off to find his mother.

"More like your _liver._" He muttered after her with a breathy laugh.

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><p>"My darling you are most certainly talented." Ines cooed as she looked over Bonnie's handiwork. Every facet of her features, from the soft lines of her fine hair to her eyes and her mouth had been captured perfectly. Bonnie blushed.<p>

"Thank you…" She mumbled, suddenly shy. She ran her eyes over her portrayal of Ines and was secretly quite pleased with herself. Ines rubbed her back affectionately before beginning to laugh softly. Bonnie looked up at her, smiling despite her confusion.

"Bonnie," the woman said returning her eyes to the girl next to her, "I'm leaving tomorrow." Bonnie's heart lurched. She began shaking her head in the negative.

"…I…_No_, Ines, please." Bonnie begged, surely she could do something about it?

"I have to it is not healthy for him." Bonnie's breath hiccupped. Tears prickled her eyes.

"What about…" she drew in a breath forcing her tears not to fall, "what about…_me_?" She whispered the last word. Ines' heart contracted at the sight of Bonnie. She drew the girl into a fierce embrace and smiled into the top of her head.

"Chère, I _am_ sorry, but I cannot stay. It is not meant to be." Bonnie's tears fell. She gripped onto Ines and cried. Ines whispered softly, speaking in French as they held each other. Once Bonnie pulled herself from Ines gently the woman looked her dead in the eyes. "How honoured I am to have met you Bonnie Bennett, how utterly blessed my sons are to have met you." Bonnie choked back a sob. She wiped angrily at her eyes, not wanting her vision to blur any more than it already had.

"Ines…" Bonnie began but was cut off.

"I know dear, I know."

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><p>Bonnie did her best to keep it together during dinner but her heart had shrivelled up and fallen to the bottom of her stomach. Damon chattered animatedly about everything and nothing and Ines indulged him. Once dinner was finished Bonnie was the first to stand up and collect the plates.<p>

"I'll give you two a moment." She whispered and made her way outside and sat in silence, staring at the sky. Damon's eyes had followed her as she left the confusion on them still evident as he looked over at his mother. Ines sighed and beckoned him with her hands.

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><p>She disappeared into thin air; right in front of them. Like someone had clicked their fingers and cut her out of their lives. Damon stood in tense silence while Bonnie cried as quietly as she could manage. He didn't hold her; she didn't move to touch him. They stood next to one another and mourned the loss of his mother.<p>

The next few days were much worse than their first days here; they were awkward and frustrating. Bonnie watched Damon quietly and did her best to stay out of his way, keep him fed and away from more than five glasses of bourbon. He would snap at her and she would take it. She gave him a week by her earthly calculations before she started fighting back.

"Damon, I'm _sorry_!" She yelled as she snatched her sketch of Ines away from him, scared he'd destroy it. "I didn't know she had to – and I know that she _said_ I could, but then she said I _couldn't_ and I _tried_ _Damon_," she spat angrily, "I tried _everything_ I could think of to bring her back for you and I _couldn't_ I don't-"

"What?" His voice cut her off. She swallowed and reared herself back for his next bout of rage. She stiffened her spine and clenched her fists.

"I can't bring her back." she repeated, her voice thick with tears. The fight seemed to whoosh out of him and he sunk onto the edge of her bed. She covered her face with her free hand wiped her tears away as he looked up at her. His face twisted in anger and he looked away and her stomach bottomed out. She'd seen that face before – when a plan failed and he was seconds from ripping someone apart. She was the only one here…

"I'm sorry." He muttered. She froze. He looked back up at her and he looked so broken and sad and overwhelmed that it floored her. She didn't know what to do with him like this. He stood up and pulled her towards him, in a rush. Her body smacked against his and her heart pounded away in her chest; terrified. Before she could relax into his embrace he pulled away and stepped out of her space. He eyed her slowly, his lips pressed into a tight line. Her mouth was still parted slightly from shock and no matter how many times she blinked nothing coherent came to her mind. "Bonnie?" Her eyes refocused and she nodded dumbly.

"…yes?" She croaked. Clearing her throat she held onto the drawing of his mother with her fingertips. His eyes flitted down quickly to her hands then up again to her face.

"I'm not mad at you, you know that right?"

"I didn't know that – _no._" She countered hotly, he sure had a funny way of showing he wasn't angry with her.

"Well I'm _not_." He said evenly, taking half a step towards her. Bonnie's neck jerked but she didn't move backwards, she **never** did.

"Okay." She replied, still unsure of what to do. It came out as more of a question. He was on top of her so quickly for a second she was sure he was a vampire again but the warmth of his body shook her out of her thoughts. He was looking down at her with unreadable eyes.

"Bonnie?" He whispered, his breath fanning across her face, she blinked her green eyes quickly in a knee-jerk reaction. He smelled faintly of bourbon and the outdoors. Like fresh rain, pepper and wood.

"Damon?" She replied in a hollow whisper. Her nerves were shot and her heart was hell-bent on carving itself through her ribcage and out into the open. Probably to flop around as aimlessly as her thoughts right now. She couldn't stare up at him for much longer, her head would fall off. She lifted a brow up at him and she watched as he scoured her face for something. They lingered on her mouth for a moment too long before reconnecting with her eyes. His head dipped as he trailed a finger over the seam of her lower lip before pulling away.

"I love you." He said and stepped around her, shutting the door behind himself.

* * *

><p>When Ines left I thought that I wouldn't make it through all that again. I thought that losing my mother would be the last straw. But I was wrong. The last straw was looking into Bonnie's eyes when she put herself, this <em>world<em> on the line again to try and get my mother back for me. The fact that after everything I had put her through, she still managed to put herself last, even for someone as pitiful and selfish as myself. It was infuriating and yet somehow so endearing and so **undeniably** Bonnie Bennett. She gave and gave, but that's what got her into this position in the first place. Even here things seemed to bend in my favour. When was Bonnie going to get her happily ever after? I pulled angrily at my hair as I paced my bedroom and the minute the thought popped into my head I cemented it there – right on the forefront of my consciousness.

**I** would give it to her. I would make sure from now on to put her needs first for a change. I had years of selfishness stacked behind me. For _once_, I would think further than my own nose. And I would do it for Bonnie Bennett.

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><p>Bonnie stood alone in her room, frozen. Before she could stop herself her face twisted in confusion.<p>

"What the _fuck_?" She hissed to the walls of her bedroom.

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><p><strong>Oh, Damon<strong>

**Having him trying to figure out exactly what he's feeling for Bonnie is quite the journey.**

**Also. Bonnie's so used to anger and chaos that she doesn't know what to do with Damon when he actually takes her feelings into account. It makes for an interesting dynamic, I think.**

**The next chapter is already written but I'm so nervous to post it up - I'm wearing my Bamon heart on my sleeve with it. Lemme know what you guys think about this though. **

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><p><strong>Stay excellent.<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**I wonder what Damon Salvatore thinks of love after everything he's been through...**

**Surely someone with all of that experience would have learned something by now?**

**I hope you guys love this chapter as much as I do, if anything, this the kind of content I feel like is missing from the show and what's been supressed by the writers and it is a _damn_ shame.**

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><p>Saying the word <em>'love'<em> aloud has so many consequences and thoughts, ideas and perspectives attached to it. Love was never known for its simplicity despite its theoretical straightforwardness. I love you, you love me. That's it. We love each other together and forever. Simple enough. **Oh no**, if only it were as basic as that. Who's to decide who loves who, what makes one love another, why do some love more than others, or does it only seem that way? Like everything else humans have overanalysed something to the point of its destruction. Taking something so quintessentially pure and angelic, and _good_ and turning it into something snarling, guttural and violent. And somehow still passing it off as love despite everything suggesting the contrary. This was something that was plaguing on Damon Salvatore of late. He had been here in this precarious purgatory come paradise with Bonnie for what, almost a _year_ now and it had been a month since his mother had vanished. He felt so much and yet nothing at all. Some days he felt like he was sleeping with his eyes open. How else would all this wonder be extended to his existence? How else would Bonnie Bennett, Pillar of Principles smile at him as often as she did – worry, care for and talk to him as often as she did? Most days though he felt the loss acutely and blindingly. He missed Elena, Stefan, his favourite couch in the den, his bourbon, Alaric…some days he even found himself missing Enzo – Caroline and Matt even. He'd gotten so soft.

But every day he found himself thinking about love. _Every_ day. He tried to put into words all his years' of experience and how he would define the word. For so long he was sure he only needed one word to describe his definition of the word love. Elena. In it every facet of the feeling was encompassed in Damon's mind; passion, rule-breaking stupidity, no stone left unturned, no line left uncrossed, no one else left un-sacrificed in her name. He then thought that it bore a striking resemblance to the love he had felt for Katherine. This garnered a mirthless, self-deprecatory chuckle from him seeing as they both had the same face, the same smile, the same ability to draw blood and have him draw blood without thinking of the consequences outside of the Petrova woman in front of him at the time. He hadn't learned a goddamn thing.

He then thought of the varying forms of love he'd been shown outside of the doppelgangers. Stefan's love; quiet, sure, deadly and selfish in the strangest ways. When Stefan had asked him to complete the transition Damon saw it for years afterward as Stefan doing the most selfish thing he'd ever heard of. But knowing everything he knew now, he knew if he were really honest with himself he would forced the blood down Stefan's throat without bothering to take his feelings into account. Stefan's idea of being selfish was far more considerate than Damon had ever found himself to be. And there was the fundamental difference between Stefan's love and his; Stefan was always able to extricate himself from the situation and assess it from every angle with everyone's feelings tabulated and accounted for. Damon barrelled through it all – making sure that no matter what, he had what he needed to see himself into the next day. That meant the handful of people he bothered to care for needed to be safe, at whatever cost. That was Damon's idea of love – brutish, incoherent and unstoppable.

Then there was Bonnie's love. If Damon's love wreaked havoc on the world, Bonnie's love wreaked havoc on her insides. He was externally destructive, where she chose to implode, barely leaving a chair out of place in her inevitable absence. It did strange things to Damon when he thought about Bonnie as a whole; when he sat down and assessed and tabulated everything about her. Sure, it frustrated him how incessantly self-sacrificial she was, but in the end he found himself morbidly grateful because he knew he wouldn't have had an eighth of the days he spent on Earth since moving back to Mystic Falls if it wasn't for her. He knew that and the knowledge rooted itself deep into his consciousness, as naturally as his recollection of his favourite scent or fondest memory. He was indebted to her, grateful _for_ her and he didn't think that she knew that. She needed to know that. She _had_ to know that. He watched as the light simmered through the sky, a rosy blush colouring the wide expanse, peeking through his window.

He and Bonnie hadn't spoken as much as he'd like of late and he was going to change that. By his calculations it was around five in the morning – the perfect time to wake a Bennett witch. Witch status pending or not, she'd always have magic to him, _always_. Nothing else could explain someone of her nature. He hopped out of bed and shook out his hair, dispelling sleep and incoherency, trading them for lucidity and mischief. He padded over the way to her door and pushed it open as softly as he could, peeking into the room before slipping in. He shut it softly and broke into a wide smile at the sight before him. She was in the centre of her bed, on her back, the wisps of her brown hair pressed to her light caramel skin. Her mouth was quirked in a soft smile as she slept. Her one arm curled around her head, her fingers buried in her hair there. The other was across her middle with the majority of the bedding kicked off and pooled together from her knees down. She was in a tank top and lace-trimmed cotton shorts. Damon redirected his attention to her face and then jumped on her giving out a loud roar as he did so. She gasped on impact as her eyes shot open.

"Damon!" She yelled, smacking his chest as he rolled over onto his back laughing. "What the **hell**?"

"Happy Birthday." He managed to get out once his laughing fit eased up some. She furrowed her brows at him.

"Damon, it's November, my birthday is in September." He cursed inwardly but forged on.

"A couple of things," He said his tone light and playful as he turned on his side to face her, "One, didn't know when you're birthday was, two, time isn't really a thing here so how do you know it's not your birthday in the real world? Three, I got you something so shut up and come with me."

"You got me something?" She echoed. He rolled his eyes before looking at her.

"You've made a habit of repeating things I say that surprise you, did you know that little bird?"

"Little Bird?" She echoed again, ignoring the irony of the action. He grinned.

"Or would you prefer I call you a Parrot?"

"No, no, no, no," she said sitting upright with a quick stretch before looking down at him her eyes bright with the promise of adventure, "So you mentioned something about a gift…?"

"Come on." He said, rushing ahead of her.

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><p>When Bonnie walked into the kitchen any semblance of thought fled and awe took its place. The kitchen was overflowing with flowers of every colour, shape and size. In the centre, on the marble counter was a double layer cake with a bottle of her favourite wine next to it along with a rectangular wrapped gift.<p>

"Damon…" she breathed, unable to say anything more than that. He nudged her forward and leaned against their fridge with his arms crossed. She peeked over at him before inspecting the items on the counter, he nodded in encouragement. She smiled at the bottle of wine, moving it aside; she looked at the cake and couldn't hide her joy. It was a simple strawberry infused sponge cake that Ines had made a while ago that Bonnie had immediately declared to be her favourite. He had decorated it with a fresh assortment of strawberries, cranberries, blueberries and dark cherries. She sniffled a little as she trailed a finger around the edge of the cake stand before the wrapped gift caught her eye. She took in a breath, fully aware of his eyes on her and lifted the package into her hands. The wrapping was ordinary brown paper with string holding it in place. She unravelled it quickly and neatly and her brows furrowed when a title-less book revealed itself.

"Open it." Came his soft command. So she opened it. Inside, in the most perfectly written calligraphy was a whole host of poetry. It was the first page however, that held her captive. It read:

_Dearest Bonnie Bennett_

_For someone who acts with the age-old impulses of love_

_I know you have had little time to revel in its sensations_

_So here, from me to you_

_Are accounts of some of the best facets of love_

_You know the darker aspects of it_

_It is time now for you to savour its sincerity, passions and delights_

_There is so much you must still learn of it_

_And I hope that this is that first step._

_ PS I am so so sorry - for everything_

_Forever yours (ha, get it?),_

_Damon Salvatore_

This must have taken him days to put together. She read through the content page and noted a few of her favourite works listed in there. She reigned in her tears and turned to face him. Wordlessly she pulled him into a hug, the book still in her one hand.

"Thank you." Her voice was muffled into his shirt but he smiled happily none the less.

"You're welcome." He replied softly, his breath rushing down the crown of her head, through the fine strands of her hair and lifting the skin on the nape of her neck. She squeezed him a little tighter before letting go entirely. She let out a quick laugh and a sigh as she wiped away a few stray tears.

"Wanna eat this cake with me while I figure out what to do for your birthday?" She suggested, throwing him a watery smile. He laughed as he walked towards her and took a seat on one of the bar stools.

"As long as I get to drink bourbon and not that wine." He said, pulling a face.

"Damon, we're drinking fruit juice, it's not even six in the morning." She pointed out with a raised brow as she cut through the cake.

"…Right. Fruit juice it is then."

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><p>Bonnie rolled her eyes as she sat next to Damon out in the garden a few hours later. Of course one of the best days of her life would happen when she was already dead. She couldn't remember the last time her birthday was celebrated. And out of the blue and yes, admittedly on the wrong day, Damon celebrates it with her. With flowers, and cake, wine and presents. With perfect weather, meaningful conversation and great music wafting around in the background. Damon was hunched over in a garden chair, his hat covering his face as he commenced what he liked to call a "disco nap". They were both still in their pyjamas, carefree and happy. She turned to look at him and then up at the sky, the light was bright, but not bright enough to wake him if she moved his hat. She went into the kitchen, grabbed some art supplies and returned to her seat next to him. Carefully lifting the fedora off of his face put in on his lap. Chewing her lip she moved out of her chair and grabbed the sketch pad and her pencils. She crouched over diagonally from where he sat slumped and captured him there in that moment. His face lineless and peaceful, his body curved comfortably in the chair, his pyjamas rumpled and the hat on his torso. She drew for about half an hour when he began to stir and she jumped up and into her chair, smiling sweetly at him. He eyed her suspiciously and she grinned, holding up the page housing her newest sketch. He pursed his lips and lifted his brows, impressed.<p>

"Not bad Little Bird." He commented, letting his head fall back as he basked in the timeless sunlight.

"Why thank you." She replied, packing her things away and mimicking his position.

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><p>When Bonnie woke again she was on the couch. Jimi Hendrix was playing softly in the background as she was overcome with the smell of flowers, cooking spices and the sound of Damon singing along. Smiling as she sat up she looked at the table in front of her where her art supplied were neatly piled up next to her sketch of him along with a glass of ice tea on one of Damon's handmade coasters. She took a sip and then immediately finished the rest of it. Standing to her feet she took the empty glass with her into the kitchen, leaning against the entryway and watched him. Long story short, the man was in a great mood. Dancing (well, his definition thereof) around and throwing things into the pot and occasionally sniffing at one of the flowers around him and nodding pleasantly himself.<p>

"Need some help?" Bonnie called from where she stood after a while. He spun around to face her and pursed his lips in thought.

"You can stroke my ego while I finish dinner?" He suggested, his eyes already laughing at her inevitable scowling. She surprised both him and herself when she grinned in return and sidled up to the steaming pots and pans.

"Tempting…" she said distractedly as she sniffed at the contents of one of them before Damon smacked her hand away lightly, "But I don't think I could get through it without popping a vein in my forehead."

"That so?" He said smiling down at her. She nodded while pulling a face.

"My fragile sensibilities couldn't withstand such bold-faced lies." Damon barked a laugh at that. She couldn't hold back a few giggles either. "I'd implode." She sobered up and exhaled sharply before standing upright and letting her eyes roam the room brimming with fauna. "This was probably one of my favourite days." She said; her voice light and happy as her eyes connected with him, there wasn't a trace of longing, or resentment or wallowing in them. Nor in his. He nodded as he chewed on a cherry tomato.

"Mine too actually." He admitted.

"Really?" She asked, not bothering to hide her shock. He scoffed at her playfully.

"I'm not telling you why. That's a conversation for another day."

"Alright," she conceded, "but that day will come," she said smiling up at him and patting him on the shoulder as she passed him, "eternity has a strange way of guaranteeing that."

"Strange indeed." He murmured as he watched her leave.

This new type of love was confusing and was slowly encroaching on his every thought. It was on par with the loyalty he felt for Stefan. It went beyond the fondness, and undeniable dedication he felt for Elena. It was dense yet light and comfortable, quiet and soft to the touch. It made him itchy and wriggly and he shrugged the sensation off as he turned to the pots. He hadn't felt love this pure since his first stint with humanity, since his mother.

Odd.

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><p><strong>I know Bonnie's birthday isn't in September (according to the Wiki-page anyways?) ...but <em>mine<em> is ...so, there.**

**A book of poetry hand selected by the infamous elder Salvatore? YES PLEASE**


	8. Chapter 8

**Well hello lovelies, I know how much we **_**all**_** miss Ines so I decided to write the conversation her and Damon had before she left – it also explains where his sudden confidence in caring for/loving Bonnie came from. **

**The whole chapter is a flashback to just after the dinner when Bonnie gives them some privacy? **_**Yeah**_**, then. I hope you like it, I hope my spelling/grammar mistakes are forgivable AND you're in luck because the next chapter is already written – I just **_**really really**_** wanted to add this into the mix.**

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><p>When Bonnie had walked away after dinner with that sombre look in her eyes I should have known what it meant. I hadn't seen that expression on her face in so long that it hadn't really registered until I locked eyes with my mother. My mother was <strong>perfect<strong> to me – always had been. She was the antidote to every ailment, every affliction, every nightmare, even now. I knew this was Bonnie's doing; this dimension was built on magic and who better to hold the reigns than a golden hearted Bennett witch? She brought Ines back to me, even though we didn't really know _how_, some underhanded Gia logic no doubt. I still couldn't understand why she hadn't fought to see her Grams, her father, hell, even her mother or _Lucy_ at this stage if this was about family reunions. Instead, she'd sought after _my_ happiness and just like that, Ines appeared. Bonnie was always putting herself last, a logic of hers I had had a hand in breeding, I _know_. A knowledge that I now deeply regretted; mostly because she never brought it up, never questioned and obviously had no intention of changing – and that was what got to me the most. Like myself and love, Bonnie and sacrificing herself might never change, no matter how detrimental the consequences.

"Damon dear?" My mother called to my attention as she held her arms out to me. I cleared my throat and stood to my feet, eyes flickering to the direction in which Bonnie disappeared before I moved to sit down next to her and hold her hands. "Damon, I'm leaving." I pressed my eyes shut as it all suddenly made sense.

"Why?" I managed to whisper out. She trailed a hand down the side of my face then, smiling sweetly as I opened my eyes.

"I was never _meant_ to stay." She explained with a delicate motion of her shoulders.

"I thought you said Bonnie could control this world?" I reminded her, "You _said_ she was the one who brought you here."

"She _can_ and she _was_, but all things are done through **Gia** and the _Divine_ has decided that my purpose here has been achieved."

"That's not how it feels to _me_," I argued hotly, "This isn't fair. Why even return in the _first_ place? Why reopen all these wounds of mine?" She narrowed her eyes then and really looked at me.

"Do you feel the same as you did when you were human and lost me? When _you_ died? When you became this creature of violence? Does it still hurt you Damon? _Tell_ me, do you still mourn yourself after all these years the way I have mourned you?" When I didn't reply she smiled, a sharp humourless smile that didn't suit her picturesque features, "Because I have _mourned_ you, even in death and it is only now that I have truly been reunited with the memory of my son." She pulled herself closer to me, "For some reason you thought it best to separate the best and worst parts of yourself, labelling the one as the fierce vampire and the other as the weak human memory of yourself but Damon you are _both_ and you are _neither_. You are my son, you are as strong as you are sincere, and you are wise and angry and beautiful and tired. So _rest_ now, Damon. Stop running from yourself and from Bonnie because you both **need** each other. You're separate paths have intertwined despite both of your aversions. You've spent lifetimes thinking you understand love when the truth is that you knew more about it in your short human life that you discarded in your obsession with the Petrova women. **Love**, Damon – _real love_? It doesn't excuse flaws, it **challenges** them, it brings forth a will to keep _going_ – a **hope** Damon. Love brings hope; it doesn't perpetuate the worst parts of yourself as it dances on the fine line between your insecurity and your insanity. When you spend more time fighting and in the bedroom than outside in the real world you have to stop and wonder if this love you think you have will _survive_. And then I need you to think of whether or not this love is good enough for you. _You_, who has been dragging his own name through the mud for longer than he'd care to remember are _**worthy**_ of love and somewhere along the line you forgot that." She pulled away suddenly and her fiery eyes locked with mine, the dull green reminding me both of my brother and the sullen girl outside, "_Why_ did you forget that? Remember my love for you Damon, for you and Stefan," tears fell then, "I loved you two so much and I had little to no time to express that to you but you _never_ forgot, you _never_ questioned it, and apparently you've _never_ come across a love as pure since…Until _now_ however." She stood up and wiped away at her tears, pulled me gently to stand to my feet with a soft smile. She kissed my forehead and wiped away tears I hadn't even felt on my face, "Be **good** to her Damon," Ines said with a soft determination, "She's been fighting for so long and so hard and she needs this too, this peace and this quiet and this magic. She needs it as much as you and I _know_ you want to be good to her, you're just wondering how." She pulled to the other end of the house to the library, a room I hardly went in to, "She loves to read, she loves wine, she loves to bake and be outdoors. She's smart, patient, compelling, **good**, beautiful and so perfectly _kind_…In short, I… I _love_ her already…her and I …_we_," Ines stopped suddenly and turned away with a sniffle, wiping at her face before she turned back to me, "But I will not mourn things that will never be – and you should stop mourning as well. It's unhealthy, which is why I must leave – you _don't_ need me, you just needed to _remember_ me and remember _yourself_ with me, the one you really need isn't waiting for you on Earth. She hasn't been sucked off to the depths of hell. She's **right outside**, quietly berating herself for failing you once again despite only ever having been good to you. **That's** love Damon."

"I – " I began, not really knowing what it is that I had to say.

"Oh, I'm almost done and then you can speak my love," Ines said and she put her hands on my shoulders, and then her face lit up from the inside as something occurred to her, "Before I came here Gia gave me a message, she repeated something a child of hers had become famous for saying," I hummed, waiting for her to continue, "She said '_give light and the darkness will disappear of itself_' how wonderful is that?"

"It is, yes," I said having to clear my throat, not realising how tight it had gotten from all the tension and emotion running through me. "It makes me think of her." I admitted. My mother tilted her head then.

"Say her name." she commanded softly.

"Bonnie," I replied equally as lowly, "Bonnie Sheila Bennett." We both smiled then and I felt something wind around my heart, not painfully, but with enough force to push all the air out of me as I grinned like an idiot. "I'm in love with her aren't I?" I asked. Ines chuckled.

"You've always been on the cusp of the realisation thereof; you just got too lost inside of yourself to see it."

"But she doesn't love me?" I wondered aloud, assuming it to be true. Ines pulled a face that was neither here nor there.

"She loves you silly boy, of **course** she does," Ines said with a quick frown, "Why else would she do all the things she's done, even _now_? She loved _all_ of you back in Mystic Falls and after her blood family dying you lot became all she had left, of course she would fight for that – to the death, like she _**did**_. The real question is whether she could ever be _in_ love with you."

"You don't have the answer to that?" I asked, knowing that even if she did she'd never tell me. We were both sly like that.

"No one _really_ does. No one knows the course love takes but I know my son and from what I've learnt from Bonnie…it's **inevitable**. But you can't try and love her the way you've loved…_Elena_, was it?" A sharp something lanced through my chest at the mention of Elena's name, more so because of the look on my mother's face as she said it, I knew my mother was briefed on my indiscretions as a vampire but the look on her face sought out to rub off all of the dirt, blood and mayhem of the last five years and turn my back on it – and I couldn't blame her, "You need to learn to love _yourself_ first, the way Bonnie loves you, not _despite_ your flaws or _because_ of them but because of the **truths** you see in each other, the acceptance, the _similarities_, the moments of _understanding_ when you were both still alive, the _respect_ and the _gratitude_ – not this _shameful_ **idolisation** of one person above your own interests or well-being. You're _both_ better than that." I clenched my jaw and ducked my head down, my mother was right. I could sum up my entire romantic history with those two words. '_Shameful idolisation_'. She lifted my face up by my jaw. "Damon I **love you** and I **miss you**, so terribly and I wish more than anything that I hadn't left you when I did, I wish that you didn't spend your last human years resenting your life, yourself and your family. I wish that I had been there to remind you _then_ of love, the _real kind_ and I wish that I could have protected you instead of withering away before your very eyes. Damon, I wish things could have been different but if we're both honest with each other we know that wishing will never change the truth. And the truth is that I **had** to die when I did, you _had_ feel all that pain you did, you _had_ to become a vampire, you _had_ to lose yourself and you _had_ to find your way back to Mystic Falls. Just like Bonnie _had_ to lose her Grams and her mother and her father and her self-worth – it's all part of the bigger picture, we **have** to believe that, there are lessons to learn here. Just like you both _had_ to die, hand in hand, facing the unknown with someone who, though try as you might, you cannot help but to rely on. You **both** _**had**_ to reach this point in your lives with one another. You both had to realise once and for all the chaos that you've inflicted on yourselves by not being honest about your feelings for one another."

"…Are you saying what I think you're saying?" I gasped softly, my features twisting in alarmed surprise.

"I think I heard a story similar to it once," she said moving away from me and trailing a hand over the spines of the novels near her as she spoke, "There were two people, two _souls_ actually that were fated to be together. _Now_, despite the best of efforts by the Universe they remained obtuse to one another and _refused_ to see past themselves and consider their options. So chaos, blood, death, violence and shallow love followed them everywhere. They never made it too far from the other, they _couldn't_. But they also didn't know why and this only fuelled the anger they felt for one another every time they came too close, disagreed too profoundly or needed the other too much. They sparred like sworn enemies but relied on one another with a quiet disdain exchanged between siblings. Every kind of love there was to be felt for another person was felt between these two but it slammed together **too** quickly in their chests, the thoughts **too** loudly in their minds for them to understand what it really meant. So they _never_ found one another." She turned to face me then from the other end of the room, the bright moonlight casting an ethereal glow over her, and I wondered suddenly if she was an angel, it would make perfect sense for her to be, "And each death of one brought the simultaneous death of the other, ensuring they would be reborn simultaneously to meet again."

"But I was alive years before she was born." I said, confusing marring my features.

"Who said I was talking about you and Bonnie?" Ines said with a wide grin, "I said the story was _similar_." I hummed noncommittally. "Besides, did you ever really feel alive before you met her? _Sure_, you thought you might get a second chance with Elena, but that just perpetuated every ache and pain left behind by _Katherine_, try as you might you could never have loved Elena fully and without traces of your past lingering behind to taunt you. You should have stopped when it tore you and Stefan apart but you **didn't**." Her eyes flashed angrily then and I swallowed, "You used Elena's indecision to try and smooth over the jagged edges of your heart and then guess what happens. You **died**." She pursed her lips and shook out her hair as if to dispel her thoughts and disapproval. "You _died_ Damon… how much more obvious can the Universe be?"

"**I didn't know**!" I exclaimed through my teeth, trying to stay calm, I would never take a temper with my mother, but really, how was I supposed to know I was _fated_ to a Bennett witch? All they'd ever done was snap at me, set me alight, and _not_ keep their end of the bargain.

"_Of course you didn't know_." She said with a wave of her hand, "You didn't _know_ because you never thought of anything beyond that **one** face, that **one** lie and that **one** love and it's time for that to change my son."

"Please don't leave." I whispered, aware how tears were threatening to spill once again, "You can't make me realise my whole life has been a lie and then _leave_."

"You can't keep pretending to be okay with everything that's happened to you and Bonnie…or that knowing everything she's done for you and still allowing her to feel inadequate is _okay_. Because it's **not**." I swallowed and nodded, crossing my arms over my chest, scared my writhing insides would find a way out and onto the floor. I was confused and sad, and I needed my mother and now I was about to lose her as well as my mind. I hadn't noticed her move until she was hugging me again.

"Don't forget me," she whispered, "Don't forget love and don't forget to live."

A few minutes later she sent me to fetch Bonnie so that we could both see her off.

* * *

><p><strong>So, now we know why Damon's been thinking about 'love' ever since his mama left. I'm actually thinking of writing something entirely separate with Ines in it, I don't <strong>_**know**_**. I've grown attached to her (sad face).**

**Anyways! Let me know what you guys think.**

**Stay excellent. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Dulce Domum**

**Chapter Nine**

_The prince leans to the girl in scarlet heels_

_Her green eyes slant, hair flaring in a fan_

_Of silver as the rondo slows; now reels_

_Begin in tilted violins to span_

_The whole revolving tall glass palace hall_

_Where guests slide gliding into light like wine;_

_Rose candles flicker on the lilac wall_

_Reflecting in a million flagon's shine,_

_And glided couples all in whirling trance_

_Follow holiday revel begun long since,_

_Until near twelve the strange girl all at once_

_Guilt-stricken halts, pales, clings to the prince_

_As amid the hectic music and cocktail talk_

_She hears the caustic ticking of the clock._

_Cinderella_

_Sylvia Plath_

Bonnie traced her slender fingers over the crisp paper and the line of Damon's script as they formed the poems. She had just finished one by Sylvia Plath and she had to admit her immediate fondness of the text. Sure, the 'princess' had green eyes and there was plenty of wine and dancing which was great but it went beyond that. It was a quirky ode to a fairy tale and she loved that. Sighing she fell back onto her ample pile of pillows as Jaymes Young sang in the background. Things with Damon had taken a turn for the…_different_ lately. He was nice for one, which was odd, he seemed like he had finally come to terms with being dead with her and the whole Ines disappearing thing. They even did more things together. Hell, he had finished building a little canoe the other day and had nagged at her until she finally agreed to take to it to the water with him. So off they went, clad in shorts and vests, barefoot, wearing hats and carrying the thankfully light canoe over their heads as they made the short trip to the bottom of the waterfall. After they were both in Damon shoved them away from the shore, knowing full well that the body of water they were in was only _so_ big, it was basically a kidney shaped lagoon. Bonnie remembered how proud Damon was when the thing didn't immediately take on water and sink. He had stripped out of his clothes and thrown his body into the water. Bonnie sat up and eyed out the water, wondering where he was when he suddenly launched up behind her and tipped her out of the canoe. The bastard. It had been another wonderful afternoon with Damon. _Another_. Bonnie shook her head with a small smile on her face as she thought of how surreal it all felt; spending all this time with Damon, at peace, surprisingly in sync and happy. There was a quick knock on her door before he let himself in. she propped herself up and scooted over just as he plonked himself down next to her, settling into the feel of her mattress.

"Hey." She said, putting her book down on her night stand and turning her body to face his.

"Hey." He answered softly, giving no other sound or inclination of his reasoning for lying with her. Not that she minded, it was nice when they could do this with one another…just sit there and do nothing other than absorb whatever it was that was building between them. This …_peace_ that had been forged in the aftermath of the chaos that was their lives on Earth. "Which one did you read today?" He asked, his eyes flitting over her to her side table and back to her face. She smiled and lay down more comfortably, closing her eyes as her mind ran over the words again.

"The whole revolving tall glass palace hall. Where guests slide gliding into light like wine." Bonnie replied, feeling as Damon's fingers played with the tips of her hair.

"Her green eyes slant, hair flaring in a fan." He replied and Bonnie could hear the amusement in his voice and she opened up her eyes to look up at him as he lay on his side looking down at her. Curiosity and something she didn't dare name twisted in her chest at their proximity. There was very little between them left to discover as friends she'd found; they'd reached the point where the knowledge of the other was so distinct and so interpretable that secrets or sadness were non-existent as they were shared, wordlessly, each day between the two of them. It was an unlikely symbiosis but it was effortless and perfect for the both of them. Bonnie was glad that Damon hadn't held Ines leaving against her; she was yet to figure out why one minute it was supposed that she could bend and influence the dimension they were in and the next moment not. She was sure Gia had everything to do with it, but you couldn't just call on The Divine because things weren't going your way, sometimes you just had to accept everything for what it is. Damon was doing a better job of it than she was if she was being honest with herself.

"It's a good poem." Bonnie said, blinking until she focused back onto the present, she had to stop getting swallowed up by her own thoughts and the past. Especially when Damon was looking at her the way he was now. He smiled then.

"It is, Sylvia Plath is a phenomenal writer." Damon said, moving to lie on his back, his shoulder against hers. "This poem was more for the smaller details though; it had more to do with my ideas of love than hers." Bonnie's one brow rose to the occasion in blatant intrigue.

"Oh?" She asked, turning her head a little to get an unobstructed view of his profile. She watched as the fine lines around his eyes wriggled into view as he smiled widely before turning to lock eyes with her.

"I know what you're thinking –"

"Doubtful –" Bonnie interrupted with a grin.

"What do _I_ know about love," Damon went on seamlessly, "But my mom, she reminded me of everything I was so sure I'd forgotten from when I was human…It was…_strange_, surreal but probably the closest I've ever gotten to understanding love as it is meant to be understood." Bonnie searched his eyes for any traces of the terse, tetchy trauma-inducing vampire she'd come to know and tolerate reflected in his eyes but instead, she found…

She found Ines' warm smile, her kind disposition, Stefan's quiet selflessness. She found Matt's incomparable warmth and humility, Caroline's iridescence, Elena's bone-deep familiarity, Jeremy's insecurity. She found all these wonderful things and she began to wonder if it was fair to only appreciate Damon when it no longer counted…could all these things still count to the dead?

"I think," Bonnie said, clearing her throat, "I don't think anyone knows what love really is…if we did we wouldn't fight half as much for it as we're want to do," She went on when Damon shot her a puzzled glance, "If we knew what love was, _really knew_, then we'd spot it a mile away. We'd know it, we'd know it in our bones and so would they and the whole world would know that we were in love and no one would stand in the way of that. And we wouldn't have to fight; we'd only have to love." Damon's smile widened, she was naïve in the most wonderful way.

"There's always something standing in the way of love." Damon muttered as he looked back up at the ceiling as they lay there. Bonnie's mouth turned down at the corners when she registered the pain in his voice. She was sure he was thinking about Elena again. Why wouldn't he? He'd been haunted by one face for as long as he could remember, why should he be any different in death? He took in a sudden breath and twisted his neck to look at Bonnie. "I'm sure you think you know what I'm thinking, but I assure you, you _**don't**_." Bonnie's heart fluttered a little at that. He knew her too well.

"Have you ever wondered why something was always getting in the way?" Bonnie asked, looking away from him this time, "For us I mean," Damon's heart rate quickened, "You and Elena and me and Jeremy…there was always something missing, someone left wanting, someone dying, someone's love being in question. Always _something_." He couldn't help the small scowl that lingered on his face after she'd said that.

"I don't want to talk about Elena." Damon said swiftly and Bonnie nodded, clasping her hands together and resting them over her flat stomach. Damon's peripheral caught her jutting hip bones that had snuck into view between the waist band of her denim jeans and her plain white tank top. Had she always been that skinny? That _small_? Had her skin always been that brilliant hue? Had she always had this perfect aesthetic?

"Sorry." Bonnie replied awkwardly and Damon sighed.

"I don't want to talk about her because of how I feel and how I no longer feel about her." Bonnie turned and gave him a look that was equal parts perplexed and exasperated. "I don't think I ever loved her and I don't think she ever loved me."

"Are you _insane_?" Bonnie asked her face suddenly incredulous.

"_What_?" Damon asked, taken aback by her response.

"Just because you may never see her again doesn't mean you get to lie about what happened between the two of you." Bonnie pointed out. That and the fact that Bonnie had bent over backwards like the rest of Mystic Falls to make sure Damon and Elena were together and happy. The _hell_ was he doing disregarding all of that? The nerve.

"The biggest mistake since the turning of Katherine Pierce?" He rebutted and Bonnie scowled.

"Everything happens for a _reason_ Damon." Bonnie said stubbornly, getting annoyed with him, "You and Stefan turning into vampires, you waiting for the comet and for Katherine, meeting Elena –"

"Ruining my relationship with my brother, ruining any chance you and I ever had of actually _forming_ a relationship, hurting Caroline, treating Matt and Jeremy like they were disposable, killing for the shit of it –"

"Falling in love, realising you were worthy of love and affection –"

"Taking it out on the world when I realised that treating Elena like my only cause for redemption was only highlighting the very _worst_ parts of myself –"

"_Damon_ –"

"_Bonnie_." He said matching her tone and scathing look. They stared each other like that for a few heated moments before Damon's face softened and smoothed out into something more fragile and compelling. "I messed up Bonnie, big time and I'd appreciate it if you didn't try and console me with euphemisms of all the things I did on Earth to try and convince myself that Elena and I were meant to be…how much more obvious could it be that we're not…I'm _dead_ Bonnie, you and I are _both_ dead. **Dead**. _**Gone**_. Not even ghostly apparitions floating around watching our loved ones move on without us – _nothing_. We were blinked away into Oblivion into this dimension, or plane or _**whatever**_ and we **somehow** managed to get a semblance of our lives back, we have _each other_ and we have _eternity_ – excuse me if I don't want to waste it rehashing the Top 40 Dumbest Things Damon Salvatore Did For Love." He got to his feet then and stomped off, leaving a startled Bonnie in his wake as he slammed her door for good measure. Bonnie's eyes stayed on her door long after he'd gone.

"And things were going so _well_." She chirped sardonically before throwing herself back onto her mattress with a loud groan.

About an hour later there was a knock on Bonnie's door again and she rolled her eyes, wondering why he even bothered.

"Come in." She called, still in the same position he'd left her in earlier. She turned to face him as she stepped into her room. He shut the door behind himself but stayed closer to the entryway than her bed and that made her frown. "I'm not mad at you, you know, you can come and lie down next to me." He looked at her evenly before walking slowly to her and lying down, putting them shoulder to shoulder once more.

"I'm sorry I got so mad earlier, I'm just angry at myself." Bonnie nodded even though she didn't understand entirely.

"If you talk and I listen I'm sure it won't end nearly as bad as earlier…" Bonnie said with her voice lilting upwards as she tried to lighten the mood and Damon smiled, loving her for it.

"No. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry and that next time that I'm in a pissy mood, I'll take it out on the garden or something."

"Not my peppers you won't, I've been waiting for them for weeks already." She said, her eyes narrowing at him so he knew not to mess with her. He raised his hands with a soft smile. All he wanted to do was tell her that the only reason he got so mad was because he wanted to tell her how much he loved _her_, how much he messed up with _her_, and how he wished that he'd had the sense to realise all of this while they were still among the living so that he could actually offer her some sort of future. What could he give her in the endless desolate world of theirs? Nothing. Nothing but himself and he'd had plenty experience realising that that was never enough.

"I won't touch your peppers." Damon promised and Bonnie smiled at him and laughed, an infectiously happy sound coming from deep within her. He chuckled along with her as they lay there heads turned and facing one another. When the sobered the atmosphere changed, Damon felt it in his stomach and he saw it in Bonnie's suddenly frightened looking eyes. This peace they'd slipped into was changing again, _warming_, morphing into something larger, more meaningful but without acting on it they left it wanting – growing. Damon knew how insatiable he could be when it came to a woman's affection and he knew, since his talk with his mother, that if Bonnie slipped up even for a _second_, if she considered them long enough for him to kiss her; he might be fooled into thinking that perhaps they _were_ in heaven. How else would Bonnie Bennett be looking at him like he was actually worthy of her time? Like she might do more than just love him? Damon was greedy; he knew that her love for him broke the very laws of _science_ but he wanted more from her. She giggled again then and the sound sent off a flare in his chest somewhere, burning bright as it sent the heat throughout the rest of his body.

"I love you Damon." she said, happiness still clear in her voice, and he knew she was saying it because she was Bonnie, she could love a terrorist if you left her alone long enough with him…Damon was a mass-murderer and renowned shit-head and she'd managed to both forgive him _and_ to love him. Girl was hopeless. "I'm glad I've gotten to know you better."

"I love you too," Damon said, making sure his features didn't twist in on themselves when he only barely resisted the urge to close the space between them and kiss her, "And give it time, I'm sure I can make you regret those words." Bonnie shook her head as she smiled.

"Oh no, you must have me confused with someone else," Bonnie said with a mischievous smile, "I'm the girl who loves no matter what remember? There's no getting rid of me." Oh how Damon wanted her to act on the truth of her words.

"Eternity is a long time Parrot," Damon said, snickering when she pinched his side and smacked his chest lightly at the nickname, "But I'm sure you'll make good on your word. You always do."

* * *

><p><strong>This was just a much-needed stepping stone between what they were to what they're about to become. I hope you're all still with me. There's so much more to come, more insight to the dimension, Gia, magic, more visitors and more BAMON LOVE. Yayur.<strong>

**Stay excellent.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Dulce Domum**

**Chapter Ten**

_Amen, amen but come what sorrow can,_

_It cannot countervail the exchange of joy_

_That one short minute gives me in her sight_

_Do thou but close our hands with holy words,_

_Then love-devouring death do what he dare;_

_It is enough that I may call her mine._

_Romeo_

_These violent delights_

_Have violent ends_

_And in their triumph die_

_Like fire and powder_

_Which as they kiss, consume_

_The sweetest honey is loathsome in his own deliciousness_

_And in the taste confounds the appetite_

_Therefore love moderately; long love doth so_

_Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow_

_Friar Laurence _

_Act 2 Scene 6_

_Romeo & Juliet, William Shakespeare_

After reading through the page that he'd written the excerpt from _Romeo and Juliet_, for some reason Bonnie was transported back to the night they'd first drank bourbon and un-Earthed the first pile of _many_, of their lingering issues. Not necessarily with one another, more themselves in the stark light of their deaths.

"_**You were never **_**normal**_** Bonnie," Damon said, "Well you never stood the chance at being normal, witch or not, I know this now."**_

"_**Is that so?" She replied teasingly as she took another sip of her own bottle of bourbon, sitting across from him, "I suppose it makes sense then. To lose it all." Damon frowned and scoffed at her words.**_

"_**You act like the Universe was plotting against you." He said.**_

"_**It was, and it won, in case you've forgotten the situation we're currently in." Bonnie pointed out.**_

"_**If this is what the Universe had in store for you this whole time then I believe **_**you've**_** won." His eyes bulged as he spoke. **_

"_**What's it like having a heartbeat again?" She asked, ignoring how true his words had rung in her heart, she watched as his hand froze with his arm mid-air, ready to take another sip from his bottle. "You have a heartbeat don't you?"**_

"_**Do you?" He countered.**_

"_**Sure, it's struggling right now with the bourbon but it's there."**_

"_**I've been trying to ignore it actually," he admitted quietly, "It doesn't feel right."**_

"_**Well it's been a while since you felt it." Bonnie murmured.**_

"_**It kind of lulls me into believing that all those years as a vampire was a lie. That it was all some nightmare and I just woke up, **_**here**_**. With my heartbeat and the quiet country outside. I'm waiting for my mother to turn a corner in the house and smile at me. It's…a little too much."**_

"_**It's a heartbeat Damon." Bonnie had replied softly, trying to ease him out of whatever was slowly pulling him down.**_

"_**Really Bonnie? It's more than that for me; it's more than that for you as well. All you've ever wanted was to live despite you continuously running headfirst into the depths of your demise. Every thump, every pulse a reminder that you failed. Or did you fail? You're here and yet you are no more. All you have is me and your heartbeat."**_

"_**Well," she'd replied ignoring the sting she felt in her eyes, "All **_**you**_** have is **_**me**_** and **_**your**_** heartbeat."**_

"_**I am a creature of adaptation and acclimation. I can fall in line in order to survive; it's something I learned as a vampire. You're not used to change, not change this sudden and this overwhelming." Damon said.**_

"_**No," Bonnie disagreed, "Just because I fight it doesn't mean I don't understand it, sure the last thing I wanted was to die again. Especially leaving things the way I did on Earth. But I won't deny myself this anymore Damon. I can't. Because like everything else, it's only a matter of time before this is taken from me as well."**_

"_**We have more in common than we thought then." He mumbled, clinking his bottle with hers.**_

Bonnie sighed heavily as his words ran through her head; "We have more in common than we thought then." Leave it to Damon to echo the darkest parts of herself that had only been dredged up in the wake of his and Stefan's arrival to Mystic Falls in the first place. But the Damon who'd tried to get the amulet from her for the tomb spell and the Damon that had brought her back as the Anchor and the Damon that had willingly held her hand as they were swallowed by the celestial light…All of them were different people. And the Damon he'd become, the one grumbling around in the kitchen right now as she sat at the table quietly reading was someone else _entirely_. He was softer, patient but no less snippy and snide when the moment called for it. But she was too; Bonnie had never been granted the opportunity to mourn the things she'd lost and colour her surprised when she'd undergone the transition with Damon Salvatore of all people by her side. And they mourned in a similar manner; taking it out on themselves and seeking their part in their own undoing. Since Ines left Damon had been different, he'd obviously taken some necessary steps backwards to recall his true nature. Not that Bonnie would ever have tried to tell him to, she'd never ask anyone to change… it just wasn't _right_.

But with Damon it was like he was _remembering_, not changing. He was recalling things he'd been taught by Ines, things he'd learned and savoured in his human years. Things that had been tainted by her untimely death and his slip into the supernatural world as he was coaxed into immortality by a careless Katherine. Bonnie had always held a certain disdain for vampires and their penchant for violence but over the years she'd found herself to be no less territorial and violent herself. Mystic Falls and the lives they'd clung to had turned them all into …_savages_. Not batting an eyelid at the demise of someone else if it meant those that they loved could see the sunrise. That primal mentality had re-routed Bonnie's brain; making her think that her death was just a stepping stone, a formality, before she was rebooted and sent back into battle.

Not once had she thought that when she and Damon died that they'd end up…in this heaven of sorts. Where peace and tranquillity took the place of bloodshed and tumultuous magic. Not once had she thought that she'd love Damon the way she did now. She loved that he cooked, because, honestly, after living a life where she was the only one in her house most nights she'd associated her cooking dinner with her loneliness, so it was a breath of fresh air to share the kitchen. She loved that he built things, that he liked the same music as her father, that he laughed at his own jokes, however soft the chuckle was. She loved that he danced around like a loon, that he'd pester her endlessly when he thought she was in a funk. She loved that he opened up to her and showed her that two people who had their history could grow outside of that misery and blossom into something as perfect as their friendship was.

"What's with all the sighing," Damon spoke up, pulling her back into reality, "You sound like you're auditioning to reprise Stefan's role in my life." Bonnie smiled and looked up at him, "Was it what you read?"

"I didn't even realise I was sighing that much," Bonnie said as she shut the book and reached for the glass of wine next to her, taking a dainty sip, "It wasn't the book so much as what it made me think of." She said evenly, not wanting him to think he'd upset her. He hadn't. She doubted that he ever would again either.

"What did you read?" He asked, tossing the flannel dish cloth over his shoulder as he made his way to stand behind her to rest his chin on her shoulder as she smiled, tracing a finger over the cover of the book.

"Act two, scene six of Romeo and Juliet," Bonnie said, "I gotta say, I wasn't expecting you to put any of his work in the book."

"Why not?" Damon asked he moved to sit next to her, turning her chair easily to face him as they spoke.

"Well I mean it's _Shakespeare_," Bonnie said with a wave of her hand, "It seemed almost _too_ obvious." He smiled and nodded.

"Which is the beauty of me putting it in there." He said and she pressed her mouth shut to keep from smiling. "_Then love-devouring death do what he dare; it is enough that I may call her mine_." He quoted seamlessly and Bonnie doubted that he'd even had to find the texts he'd written out for her, he probably had libraries worth of text memorised.

"_The sweetest honey is loathsome in his own deliciousness. And in the taste confounds the appetite."_ Bonnie replied with a sly smile. "You're not the only one with a photographic memory you know." Damon lifted a brow.

"You and I are the same in our differences," Damon said as he stood to his feet, "Not seeing that these differences left only our likeliness in their wake…Our truths burned too bright, leaving us blind to our love." Bonnie frowned as her eyes followed him as he returned to the stove to finish dinner.

"Who's that from?" She wondered as she stood from her chair. She, as usual, was about to take a sniff of whatever he was making. She knew it irritated him but _he_ also knew that it was more a curiosity than it was an attempt to an insult.

"No one." Damon said softly as tossed some salt into the saucepan. Bonnie put her hands on her hips and scoured his profile as a smile grew on her face. "…What?" Damon asked when it became apparent that she was content to stand there and grin at him.

"_You_ did," Bonnie's smile was still wide, "You used to write didn't you?"

"I don't see how that has anything to do with anything." Damon said as he turned the dials down to kill the heat.

"You said you've been writing songs, you also clearly _love_ reading, you're a Romantic." Damon rolled his eyes, "Like the writers from the Romantic Movement," Bonnie clarified, "They loved nature and the outdoors, were prone to existential dilemma's…Should I go on?"

"Not if you ever want to hear the music I wrote for you." Damon said as he walked to fetch plates and Bonnie froze with her mouth still open, her retort falling flat on her tongue.

"You wrote me a song?" She stammered. Damon simply nodded. "Why?"

"You inspired me." Damon replied as he shooed her from the stove so that he could dish the food he'd made while she tried to order her thoughts. She became suspicious almost immediately.

"If you wrote a song about all the things you caught me saying in my sleep I assure you, I will _not_ be impressed." Damon beamed as he spooned the pasta into a neat pile in the centre of the plates. He'd told her that she mumbled in her sleep, he'd found it infinitely amusing that it had happened when she slept near him. But he also secretly loved how comfortable she'd gotten in his presence.

"It's not but now I'm sad at the missed opportunity." Damon said turning to pout at her, "Are we eating inside or outside?" He asked and she shrugged.

"I kind of feel like eating here in our kitchen." She began clearing the marble island as she spoke, "It's my favourite part of the house." Damon nodded and deposited the plates next to one another instead of opposite.

"Mine too."

* * *

><p>They were sitting quietly on one of the couches as the fire-place churned with reds and golds as it shot embers up and out, casting warmth on the living room. Damon's arm was around Bonnie's shoulder as she sat lost in her thoughts while he read through one of the ten books in the entire house he'd hadn't yet read. He heard as Bonnie's frame shuddered a little before her breathing evened out. He peeked a little and sure enough, she'd fallen asleep and he let her sleep for a while, as he continued to read. She started wriggling after about half an hour, surely uncomfortable as her body bent to seek out comfort from his without just settling her head to his lap. Even in sleep she'd left barriers between them. He contemplated moving her to her room but he was so comfortable in this moment…<p>

"Damon." she muttered and he froze, the book falling shut as his attention shifted fully to the girl beside him. "We must be in heaven because you, you deserve it." She mumbled and nuzzled into his chest; her small hands balling into the material of his shirt. "The truth burns too bright, like you said…and we are the same. Our lo –" she started then, jerking into consciousness, she shot upright and drew in a sharp breath, a hand over her heart. She looked at him, his expression a mixture of shock and concern and ran a hand over her forehead. "Sorry, I passed out." He said nothing, just stared. "…What?"

"What did you dream about?" her gaze fell, "Was it a nightmare?" He wondered, thinking it to be poetic justice that he'd haunt her dreams when he sought out so desperately to show her his love. She shook her head as she fiddled with her hands in her lap. "Then why do you look like you've seen a ghost?"

"I dreamt about…_you_, okay?" She said awkwardly finally looking up at him, "About what you said earlier."

"So, it _was_ a nightmare then?" He offered with a feeble smile, hoping she wouldn't agree, but wanting to set her at ease all the same. She sighed and dropped her head to her hands and Damon was reminded once more of something Ines had said when she'd said goodbye to him.

"_**Be **_**good**_** to her Damon," Ines said with soft determination, "She's been fighting for so long and so hard and she needs this too, this peace and this quiet and this magic. She needs it as much as you and I **_**know**_** you want to be good to her, you're just wondering **_**how**_**."**_

"You can talk to me you know." Damon said as softly as he could manage as the memory of his mother ebbed away, replaced with Bonnie's wide shining eyes as she looked back at him.

"It just _confused_ me." She said, her voice bordering on sadness, "It made me think of things that …_hurt_, thoughts that shouldn't be mine." Now he was confused.

"Thoughts that shouldn't be yours?" He echoed, "How dramatic little Parrot, just tell me, I won't judge you." Bonnie searched his face and she swallowed, nodding to herself.

"_**You should stop mourning as well. It's unhealthy, which is why I must leave – you **_**don't**_** need me, you just need to remember me and remember **_**yourself**_** with me, the one you really need isn't waiting for you on Earth. She hasn't been sucked off to the depths of hell. She's **_**right outside**_**, quietly berating herself for failing you once again despite only ever having been good to you. **_**That's**_** love Damon." Ines said.**_

Damon had to blink through the recollection to focus back on Bonnie, she looked so sad and all he wanted to do in that moment was to bring her the peace Ines' words had given him. Why couldn't she get something similar? _Could_ she get something similar? He should convince her to bend the world to her will again and bring her father, maybe it would bring some closure she was clearly in desperate need of.

"It was about what you said, about the truth burning so bright and I _saw_ it burning Damon, I saw it burning behind you, whether it was this world or the old one, it was bright, with wisps of fire and heat pulsing off of it, through you and reaching out to me…it was like…it was the strangest, most _surreal thing_ I ever saw and then I remembered your words about… about it leaving us _blind to our love_ and I think, I think for a second I _thought_…" her voice fell away after her hurried rambling and her eyes darting this way and that, avoiding him but he held her chin, bringing her eyes to him.

"_Breathe_." He commanded softly and she drew in a shaky breath. He waited for her to calm down some before he thought to say something. He knew he shouldn't push but he didn't know how to sooth Bonnie and her eyes were still frantic as they held his gaze, the dream had obviously unsettled her. The question was whether or not it stemmed from her aversion to the intent of his words or the words themselves finding a truth in her heart. Damon hoped that it had struck a chord within her, lit a match of sorts, opened her eyes to the tentative opportunity that hung between them. To flesh out their new love, to see if it would in fact grow. "_Give light_," Damon said, "_And darkness will disappear of itself_." Bonnie's lips parted as she processed his words, "Did you know that those words epitomise you perfectly?" she moved then, adjusting her position, but she didn't pull her chin from the hold of his fingers.

"_Funny_," Bonnie said, "Because here I was thinking that's what you've been doing for me." Her words hung between them and again the atmosphere shifted and simmered with the promise of something Damon was screaming for on the inside, the same thing Bonnie had been seeing fluttering just in her periphery. Damon hadn't wanted to be impulsive with his love for Bonnie, his impulsivity had never bore fruit in the past but damn it if he didn't need her mouth on his in that moment. With no more thought to it he closed the space between them and pressed his mouth to hers. In the same instant he felt his heart stop, for a second or two before it returned with a throbbing fierceness that left him dizzy. Bonnie was frozen still even as her mouth puckered against his out of an instinct she never knew she possessed.

When he moved away she gasped, her head falling forward to follow his and before she even locked eyes with him and questioned what the hell he'd been thinking she felt his jawline under her fingertips as she moved her mouth to his. She kissed him this time, seeking out the same texture he'd introduced her to not moments ago. Damon pulled air through his nose as his hands found her waist, pulling her closer. Bonnie was in his lap, her legs either side of him, his fingertips digging patterns of lust into her body from her waist to the sides of her thighs and back. Bonnie moved her hands to the nape of his neck, tunnelling through the short hairs there. He pulled at her bottom lip with his teeth and she exhaled sharply, her finger nails digging into the tops of his shoulders in response as his hands gripped the space just above her ass. Bonnie felt her heart slamming against her chest as adrenaline coursed through her veins as the kiss turned impossibly passionate. Soon it was just heaving breaths, grunts and moans spilling from their lips as their mouths moved with sudden roughness against one another.

Whatever had been brewing between them had taken over and seemed to demand the little space between them be cleared immediately, that the little air they had would see them through – they just had to keep curling their tongues around and over each other's, they had to keep clawing at one another like they could convey their every thought with this moment between them. Bonnie whimpered when he pressed a kiss to her throat, his hands holding her in place by her waist. Rolling her hips she settled on him and they locked eyes and both of their hearts contracted, stealing the remnants of their oxygen away. Bonnie pulled his face to hers again and she could feel the smile on his face as he tugged off her cardigan. She pulled her arms out of the item and tossed it aside carelessly returning her hands to his body. Suddenly eternity seemed plausible, they had managed to catch its perfection between the two of them – between their mouths as kissed each other feverishly. Damon growled as she tugged his hair a little, angling his head backwards to get his mouth at the angle she wanted it and he retaliated by pulling her down onto him pointedly, wanting every part of her to know every part of him. The sudden slam of the front door ripped them apart and Damon slipped from his dizzying high to a fierce hyperawareness at their unlikely visitor. Bonnie blinked and Damon had her behind him, both of them on their feet. Bonnie gripped on his arms as she peered around him. Sturdy, slow-paced footsteps sounded out throughout the otherwise quiet house and Damon's mind was running through their options – whatever or whoever it was, he had to be ready.

"Bonnie?" The voice called and Damon heard Bonnie gasp and dart to run forward but Damon pulled her back even as the word he never thought he'd hear her say fell from her lips in shock.

"Daddy?" and then Rudy Hopkins stepped into view and Damon let go of Bonnie, his face twisted in confusion as Bonnie ambled over to her father.

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts?<strong>

**Stay excellent.**


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